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发表于 2016-7-11 20:24:19
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范文解析
下面我们来看看官方提供的一篇14分的写作范文,分析一下其得分要点。
In the picture, the man asks his daughter about her school day, with the intention of chatting with her. However, his daughter brings the conversation to a halt by simply asking her dad to read her blog. This is a vivid example of the impact of the Internet on interpersonal communication. This impact is so serious that it is high time we paid attention to it.
Firstly, due to the wide use of the Internet, our e-pals always take priority over our family and friends in real life. Much of our time and energy is spent online.
Secondly, the Internet deprives us of the delight of communicating in person. When talking to someone beside us, we can hear their voices, see their expressions, and even hold their hands if we would like to. This is much more enjoyable.
Last but not least, the Internet will cause a degradation of our skills of face-to-face communication. We may feel embarrassed and find it harder to talk with people around us.
In a word, we shouldn't be enslaved by the Internet. No matter how convenient it is to chat online, we should remember the benefits of face-to-face communication.
这篇范文是一篇优秀的六级作文,符合了14分作文的评分标准。首先,该范文内容切题:首段以图画描述开篇,符合写作要求;中间第二、三、四段从三个角度论证"网络对人际交流的影响",切合题目含义;尾段提出建议。其次,该范文达到了"表达思想清楚"的效果。最后,该范文语言通顺连贯,无语法错误,语言质量高。
事实上,该范文最明显的优势在于其语言质量属于上乘,有很多可圈可点之处,具体体现在以下几个方面:①词汇运用达到一定的广度和深度,如准确使用了bring … to a halt、take priority over …、deprive sb. of sth.、degradation、be enslaved by等地道词汇与短语,显示出写作者扎实的词汇应用能力;②句式运用丰富多变,如使用了with表伴随的结构、虚拟语气(it is high time that …)、省略句(when talking to …)、让步状语从句(No matter how …)动词排比句式(hear …, see …, and even hold …)等句式;③注重使用过渡词汇,保证全文连贯与衔接自然,如使用了however、due to、firstly、secondly、last but not least、in a word等。此外,需要指出的是,该范文采用了五段式的结构安排,也打破了传统"三段论",因此我们不能认定四、六级作文必须写三段。事实上,段落安排只要契合题目要求和高分作文特征即可。
总的来说,该范文能拿高分主要归结为两点:思路清晰+表达优秀。这也应该是今后考生备考努力的方向。
备考策略与建议
要想写好六级作文,考生除了学会认真审题,把握题目给出的写作要求外,考生还要在平时的备考中可通过"背写"、仿写和限时训练的来提升自己的写作水平。
所谓"背写",指的是考生不仅要背诵在写作中可能用到的表达句式,而且要能将自己背诵的内容写下来,以加深印象。考生"背写"的对象最好是历年真题范文。在"背写"时,考生要明确自己所背诵句子表达的功能,如2011年12月六级写作(要求阐述"充分准备的重要性")范文中出现了这样一个句子:"Apparently, it is of great significance for those who want to succeed to make full preparation."考生在"背写"时要明白句式"it is of great significance for those who …"可用于意义段的首句或总结句,是阐述重要性时的表达。
所谓"仿写"指的是考生在理解自己所背诵的句子的基础上进行模仿写作。比如,在写作2012年6月的六级作文时,考生可以模仿上面提到的表达重要性的句式来写生活中面对面交流的重要性:"Apparently, it is of great significance for those who are addicted to the Internet to communicate with their friends, classmates and family members in a face-to-face way."
限时训练指的是考生在练习写作时应把控好时间,要求自己在规定的考试时间内完成写作,以提高自己的写作速度。练习完成后,考生首先可以对自己的作文进行修改,然后再请水平比较高的老师或同学进行修改,以发现自己在写作过程中常犯的错误。
石雷鹏,北京新东方老师,主要教授四、六级写作,考研、专四写作等课程。 |
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