英语六级范文：2014年6月六级作文官方评卷实例

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看看满分作文究竟长啥样?怎么来的?官方阅卷凭什么打分，道听途说不如听阅卷者的。
        　　六级作文评卷实例(2014年6月)
        　　Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write an essay
explaining why it is unwise to judge a person by their appearance. You can give
examples to illustrate your point. You should write at least 150 words but no
more than 200 words.
        　　14 points
        　　The appreciation of beauty is part of human nature: we are touched by vivid
paintings, impressed by splendid sculptures, and sometimes we also judge a
person by his/her appearance, whether consciously or unconsciously. Natural
might this be, such an action is unfortunately unwise.
        　　The beauty of appearance does not necessarily mean inner beauty. There is
no denying that film stars are blessed with outstanding appearance.
Nevertheless, some of them have scandals, such as drunk driving or inappropriate
low affairs. On the other hand, an ugly-looking person like Yan Zi in “Chunqiu”
period saved the whole country with his wisdom. Therefore, if we mistake the
beauty of appearance as inner beauty, we might unwisely take the wrong as the
good.
        　　What is more, the beauty of appearance fades with time, while inner beauty
lasts forever. When we judge a person, we do not judge what he was born with,
but we should value what quality he can achieve in the time to come.
        　　All in all, appearance is a temporary thing while good quality can be
permanent, and the only wise way to judge a person is to judge his/her inner
beauty.
        　　点评：该14分的作文是阅卷专家组从全国中多考生中选出的考生考场佳作。全文191词，共分成4段，满足三个特征：内容切题、结构清晰、语言精彩。
        　　结构上采用“总分总”。首段从人类对美的理解谈起，并辅以实例进行说明，进而引出本文主旨。二、三段为主题论证部分：二段采用“总分总”结构结合“对比”论证，首句为主题句，之后用“正反”两个例子对主题句进行论证，做到了结构简单清晰、论证清晰合理;三段采用“对比”论证inner
beauty的重要性。尾段再次进行总结，尾句起到“画龙点睛”的功效。
        　　语言质量方面：14分的范文用词明显是“多样化”、衔接连贯通顺、句子结构富有变化。
        　　11points
        　　It is widely acknowledged that it is unwise to judge a person by their
appearance. One’s appearance is given by his or her parents with nothing to do
with his/her inner properties. It is possible that judging a person by their
appearance leads to a wrong conclusion.
        　　People tend to have a good impression on someone whose appearance is
attractive, however, good-looking people may have a malicious heart. Numerous
illustrations can be given. In world war II, many female spies took advantage of
their beauty and collected intelligence from the enemy. Suppose the officials
who leaked out those intelligence were not confused by the beauties, such thing
may not happen. On the contrary, some people’s appearance may not be very
impressive, but their unique characteristics are memorized. For instance, Deng
Yaping, a ping-pang player who is very short, impressed the whole world with her
excellent techniques and great courage.
        　　One’s appearance is born naturally which cannot be changed. However, the
character can be formed and built. Never try to judge someone solely by his or
her appearance since one’s heart can go far beyond the appearance.
        　　点评：与14分的作文相比，11分的作文的整体水平明显差出一截。如果14分的作文用“干净漂亮”来形容，11分的作文的整体感觉就是“通顺流畅”。内容和结构方面差距不大，主要是语言质量(词汇句法)的差距。
            
            

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        　　8 points
        　　Nowadays, a lot of people pay more attention their own appearance. Why?
Because the appearance become more and more important, no matter you want catch
a job or a girlfriend and a boyfriend. There are so many people like to judge a
person’s inside by their appearance. Is it wisdom? I don’t think so.
        　　First, a beauty ace not equal to beauty mind. The perfect appearance can
not reflect one person’s ability and knowledge. Most of us concentrate our
friend’s mind, thoughts and have a beauty heart or not. As the time goes on, our
friends’ outside would be less and less important. We want to know more about
their inside.
        　　Second point, of course I will not deny the effect of a good appearance.
However, a good face could fade as time goes on. no matter what we do, the cover
of our beauty face will lose the fight with fate. Meanwhile, our inside
knowledge will not. So as far as I am concerned, never judge a person by their
appearance. Remember image is not everything. Pay more attention to a person’s
mind and thought.
        　　点评：8分的作文读起来就是“马马虎虎”的感觉，能读懂但是明显有表达上的问题，且会有不少小错。
        　　5 points
        　　Nowadays, there are more and more people make a wrong in judge others. Why
have this problem become an common phenomenon? For it is really unwise and the
reason as follows.
        　　There are some old words in China “knowing the people and his appearance
but not his heart.” To begin with, the people are the developest creature in
animal, and the more experience they have the little mind they will take in
appearance. For everyone like to show their nice appearance and hid the crude
one. In addition, there are a lot of people want to get money by illgel actions.
So they will do everything they can try to make money. And the first step to
thief is act as an gentleman who the others may believe. Finally, the experience
of us may be not judge people by their appearance.
        　　All in all, just as the title “it is unwise to judge a person by their
appearance”. Everyone must be careful and do not be a foolish who judge others
just by their appearance.
        　　点评：5分作文的可读性要比8分小很多，总结为“勉强读懂”，但是有诸多表达错误或失误。
        　　2 points
        　　My opinion is judge a person not only by their appearance but also the
everything from them.
        　　Sometimes when we meet someone first time, we always to judge the man who
would be our friends? Maybe just only from his clothes, his voice or from his
first feeling. But I think if you want to judge the person, you should know he
depend from his heart.
        　　First, from his speech when he talk someone kindly and nice always. It
means he had a good family. If the parents can’t teach, it will rude to other
people.
        　　Second, from his knowledge. A good person should study college school.
School teach people a lot of goods. It’s in people’s brain, not from his
appearance.
        　　The third. If you judge a person by their appearance. Maybe you lose a real
person. Nowadays, more and more people has porck face. It not the real one.
        　　Finally, by judge a person you have to spent much time, not just a meeting,
a dinner. You should more talking to he and can know what was his deepest
thoughts.
        　　点评：2分的范文表明字数多不一定分数高，重点在语言质量上。2分的作文读起来“不知所云”或者chinglish遍地开花、且错误太多以致无法准确表达意思。