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发表于 2016-7-10 19:47:55
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They get to the root of their worry
设想最坏的情形,找出忧虑的根源
The problem with worrying is that it can spin out of control until the
thing you're worried about is 10 steps removed from your immediate issue. That's
why it's so important to figure out what the real problem is in order to stop
the worry cycle.
忧虑的问题就在于它会一发不可收拾,直到你担心的事情排到你眼下急需解决的问题10步以外。这就是为什么找出真正的症结所在并停止忧虑循环如此重要。
"When I work with worriers, I try to work on them with problem
identification, and to help them be comfortable doing that," Purdon says. "Yes,
there are some problems that could lead to something else, but [let's] not worry
about that right now because it's not happening right now."
“和忧虑者一起工作的时候,我尝试引导他们找出问题,并且让他们习惯于这么做,”
博登讲道。“是的,有些问题的确可以引发其他问题,但是先别去管它们,因为现在还没发生。”
It's important to move from problem-generation, which is what worriers are
prone to do, to problem-solving. "Worriers think what they're doing is
constructive -- that by anticipating [the future problems], it's helpful in some
way," Purdon says. "It's reasonable, to some extent, to do that, but they can't
stop themselves once they get started."
让忧虑者从“产生问题”向“解决问题”转移是非常重要的。“忧虑者认为他们未雨绸缪的做法在某些方面是非常有益的,”
博登博士讲道。“从某种程度上说这样做是有道理的,但是忧虑者一旦开始就停不下来了。”
They don't stop worrying -- they just designate time for it
安排专门的时间,让自己担心个够
"One of the reasons why people engage their worry is they think, 'This is
an issue I must sort out now, I have to anticipate and plan against these
outcomes.' It grabs attention off what they need to be attending to, whether it
be job, spouse, kids, whatever," Purdon explains. So, she recommends using a
strategy called the "worry chair." It works like this -- reserve a 15-minute
time during the day where you can just think and ponder over your worries on
your own. Don't worry outside those 15 minutes, and make sure that you're
spending your worry session in the same spot (hence the term "worry chair"!)
each day.
“人们花时间忧虑的原因之一就是他们会去思考,‘这个问题我必须现在想清楚,我要先预估并且为这些可能的结果进行计划和准备。’这样的思考将他们的注意力从原本应该专注的事物(无论是工作,配偶,孩子或者其他)上分散开来,”
博登解释道。因此,她推荐采用一种名为“忧虑椅”的方式。具体如下——白天预留出15分钟时间,让自己可以全部用来考虑和衡量自己担心的事情。这15分钟以外的时间,不要有任何担心,同时保证你每天都在同一个地方度过自己的忧虑时间(这就是“忧虑椅”的说法!)。
"What that means is when you're worried during the day, you can say, 'I'll
think about that later. I can switch my attention off that and go on to other
things,'" Purdon says. "And what they find is, 'I'm not even worried about that
anymore.' But giving them permission to worry about it, but later, allows them
to switch the attention away from the thought."
“这样做的意义在于当你白天忧虑的时候,你可以告诉自己,‘这个晚点再去想,我可以转移自己的注意力接着干其他事情,’”
博登博士讲道。“然后他们会发现,‘我甚至已经不再为那件事担心啦。’但是允许他们去担心,只是晚点儿,可以让他们将注意力从担心的想法中转移开来。”
They have confidence they can handle whatever comes at them
相信自己:发生任何事情,都能应对
"People with high worry not only generate ideas about what could go wrong,
they also lack confidence in their ability to cope with what could go wrong,"
Purdon explains, adding that this is ironic considering worriers actually
perform quite well in a crisis since they've spent so much time thinking about
the worst-case scenarios and have normal coping abilities. Non-worriers, on the
other hand, possess the confidence that if something were to happen, they'll
just ... handle it.
“容易忧虑的人不但会有各种想法认为事情会出错,而且缺乏对自己应对能力的自信,”
博登也同时讲到,由于忧虑者其实能够很好地处理危机,这一点是有些讽刺的,因为他们早已花了很多时间去设想最坏的可能并且有了正常的应对能力。从另一个方面来讲,乐天派自信地认为如果有事情发生,他们只需要……处理它。
They have the ability to see positive outcomes in seemingly bleak
situations
即便事实黯淡,也能看到积极的结果
Take the graphic image Moser used in his Journal of Abnormal Psychology
study, described earlier. If you were to look at an image of a woman being held
at knifepoint by a masked man, what do you think the next immediate outcome
would be? A worrier would likely only think of the worst-case scenario, while a
non-worrier would have the capacity to think, "That woman is in distress, but
maybe she breaks away from her assailant and runs to safety," Moser explains.
Non-worriers are able to see that there could be a positive outcome to a
negative event.
想想之前提到的莫泽博士在《变态心理学杂志》上发表的研究中用过的图片。如果你看到图片上一个女子被蒙面汉用刀指着喉咙,你认为紧接着的结果会是什么?忧虑者很有可能只会想到最坏的情形,然而乐天派的人会有大脑容量去思考,“那个女子处于危难之中,但也许她能够从蒙面汉手中逃脱,跑到安全的地方,”莫泽博士解释道。乐天派的人有能力从负面的事情中看到积极的结果。
They ask themselves the right questions
问自己三个问题
Worriers who are trying to tamp down on their worrying tendencies could
find it useful to ask themselves a series of questions when they're going down a
negative path. "Ask, 'Is it my problem?" And secondly, 'Do I have any control
over it?'" Purdon says. "Thirdly, the next question people can ask themselves
is, 'Have I already done everything about it that I can? And is it imminent?' If
it's not imminent, then there's no reason to worry about it now."
想要平息忧虑?当陷入负面情绪时问自己一系列问题:“提问,‘是我的问题么?”第二个问题,“我有办法控制它么?’”
博登说道,“第三个问题,‘我已经做到所有自己能做的了么?这事紧迫么?’如果不急,就没有理由现在去担心啊。”
They know how to perceive their negative emotions
正确对待负面情绪
"The most severe chronic worriers [are] less accepting of their emotions,
which means they're intolerant of uncertainty and also find negative emotions in
particular to not be very acceptable," Moser explains. Meanwhile, people who
have a healthier psychological outlook tend to look at negative emotions as a
sign that whatever is causing those emotions -- whether it be relationships, or
work, or bills -- needs attention. They use emotions to make informed
decisions.
“症状最严重的慢性忧虑者很难接受自己的情绪,就是说他们无法容忍不确定性,尤其很难接受负面的情绪,”
莫泽解释道。然而,在心理观念健康的人们看来,负面情绪只是一种征兆,表明引发这些情绪的根源——无论是人际关系,工作或者账单——需要注意而已。他们会利用自己的情绪全面地做出决定。
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