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知乎精选:不要担心超出能力范围的事

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发表于 7 天前 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
  How can I stop worrying about things that are beyond my control?
          我怎样才能不再为超出我能力范围的事担心?
          获得43.8k好评的回答@Dushka Zapata:
          This is my favorite fortune cookie prediction ever and I carry it with me
always.
          这是我最喜欢的幸运饼干预测(西方中餐馆给客人的包有预测未来运气小纸条的小饼干),我总是带在身边。

c216d33098dacf2e726ba3cb08628d4b57.jpg

c216d33098dacf2e726ba3cb08628d4b57.jpg

       
          (你正在为永远不会发生的事担心)
          You see, I used to be a worrier.
          跟你说,我过去总是忧心忡忡。
          I worried all the time. I worried that something was going to happen to
someone I loved, or that something was going to happen to me. I worried that my
family was not safe in Mexico City (where I'm from). I worried that I forgot to
close the garage door.
          我总是在担心。我担心我所爱的人会发生什么事,或者我自己会发生什么事,我担心家人在墨西哥城不安全(我就来自那里),我担心自己忘关车库门。
          Why was it hard for me to even consider letting go of something that could
be making me sick?
          为什么连考虑一下放下这些让我头疼的事对我来说都很难?
          Because, even though for a long time I couldn't articulate this, I somehow
believed that if I worried about something, I could prevent it. Yup. I believed
that most things I worried about wouldn't happen precisely because I worried
about them. I saw my worry as a sort of protective shield, an undetectable force
that swirled around the people that I loved and accompanied them wherever they
went like an aura/guardian, like a halo on an angel’s head.
          因为,有很长一段时间我虽然自己也说不清,但不知怎么地我就是认为如果我担心某件事就能避免这件事发生。对,我相信大部分我所担心的事都没发生恰恰是因为我的担心。我把自己的担心当作一种保护伞,一种围绕在我爱的人身边并随他们到各处的无形力量,就像一个光环或守护者,就像天使头上的光环。
          I explained this to a friend who looked at me before asking "Nice. How is
that working for you?"
          我这样跟朋友解释后,朋友看了看我说:“很好,可这对你有什么用呢?”
          I was stumped. I was stunned.
          我僵住了,蒙了。
          I realized I had inadvertently been practicing being a worrier for years,
and that, as such, I could un-learn it. I replaced every worry-thought with
another thought. ("All is well". "Everything is going to be ok." Or even - "even
if that was going to happen my worry is not going to prevent it".)
          我意识到我无意中多虑了很多年,我同样意识到可以改掉这个坏习惯。我把每种担心都换成另外一个想法(“一切顺利”、“一切都会好的”,或者甚至是“即使这件事真的发生了,我担心也于事无补”)。
          I can't say I don't worry anymore but I worry a lot less. And when I do, I
get to work on letting that crap go.
          我不能说我再没有担心过,但比过去少多了。要担心时就努力把那些废话从大脑中清理出去。
          获得911好评的回答@Mehek Bassi:
          By asking yourself "WHY"?
          问问你自己“为什么”?
          You know that they are beyond your control, and despite knowing that, you
are still worried? Why? Ask yourself "WHY?"
          你知道这件事超出能力范围了,即使知道,你还是会担心?为什么?问问你自己“为什么?”
          Once you get the answer of this why, (and the answer will be - because I'm
stupid! So I worry about things I can't control), and after getting this answer,
ask yourself another question "What can I change?" The answer will come out to
be "Nothing!". And after asking these two questions, you won't be worried
anymore. So you can move on from the thought and focus on things that matter,
things that you can change, things that are in your control, things that are
important!
          你会找到这个问题的答案(答案是:因为我蠢才会为解决不了的事担心!),知道答案之后,再问自己一个问题:“我能改变什么?”答案可能是“什么都改变不了,”问完这两个问题,你就不再担心了。你的生活就能继续了,把思想和注意力都放在有意义的、你能改变的、可控的、重要的事上!
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