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You probably know that adding people to your inner circle takes time, but
how much time it actually takes to go from strangers to buddies has been
somewhat of a mystery—until now. A new study suggests you need to spend at least
90 hours with someone before they consider you a real friend.
你可能知道把人添加到你的圈子需要时间，但从陌生人到好友需要多少时间一直是一个谜，直到现在，一项最新的研究表明，在你们成为真正的朋友之前，你需要与Ta共度至少90个小时。
The report, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships,
found that it usually takes roughly 50 hours of time together to go from
acquaintance to “casual friend” (think drinking buddies, or friends of friends
that you see at parties); around 90 hours to become a true-to-form “friend” (you
both carve out time to specifically hang out with one another); and over 200
hours to form a BFF-type bond (you feel an emotional connection with this
friend).
这份发表在“社会与个人关系杂志”上的报告发现，从“随便的朋友”(想想你在聚会上看到的喝酒伙伴或朋友的朋友)到熟人通常需要大约50个小时的时间;大约90个小时才能成为真正的
“朋友”(专注于彼此)。200多个小时形成成为真正意义上的密友(有情感联系)。
Coworkers can be still become friends, of course, but you need to spend
time together outside of the workplace for it to happen.
当然，同事之间仍然可以成为朋友，但你需要在工作场所以外多找机会相处才行。
So, what does knowing these numbers do for you? Well, it emphasizes an
important aspect of friendship we all sometimes forget about: personal
investment. Jeffrey Hall, Associate Professor of Communication Studies and lead
author on the report, explains that making friends really comes down to putting
the time in. As he puts it, “You can’t snap your fingers and make a friend.”
Don’t hang out with someone a couple times for a few hours and expect to be
“besties” already. Give the people you like your time, hope they’ll give you
theirs, and stay focused on having a good time. Friendship will follow.
那么，知道这些数字有什么意义呢?它强调了我们所有人都不要忘记的友谊的一个重要方面：个人时间投资。传播研究副教授兼报告作者杰弗里霍尔解释说，交朋友真的归结为投入时间。正如他所说的，“你不能折断你的手指，结交朋友。”几个小时与某人一起出去玩，并期待已经成为“最好的人”，这并不现实。给你喜欢的人你的时间，希望他们会给你他们的时间，并保持专注并玩得开心。友谊也必将随之而来。 |
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发表于 2018-5-12 10:12:46