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In leadership workshops, I run a two-part exercise that first has the group identify and capture all of the behaviors of managers and senior leaders they hold in high regard. The input is always thoughtful and includes the expected comments of:在领导力课堂，我进行了两个练习。第一个是让团队识别并获取管理者行为以及高级领导者所具备的特质。输入总是深思熟虑，且得到如下期待的评论：Treat people with respect恭敬对待人Back words with actions言出必行Offer constructive input and coaching提供建设性意见并给予培训指导Provide developmental opportunities提供发展机会Do not micromanage不管得太细…and many other positive behaviors.……以及其他正面行为。The exercise flows nicely, the flip-charts fill and then get taped to the wall and people exchange stories of great leaders who have helped them during their journeys.练习进行得很好，纸板写好并张贴在墙上，人们交流职业生涯中帮助他们成长的杰出领导。After the discussion on effective leaders has run its course, I flip the question around and ask the teams to describe and capture the behaviors of managers and leaders they view as difficult to work for. After a few seconds, the energy level in the room rises along with the decibel level and you can practical feel the heat from the scribes and their red markers as they struggle to capture the group’s descriptions of the difficult managers and leaders they have encountered in their careers.在主题围绕领导的出色管理的讨论结束后，我把问题反过来提问，让他们说说比较难搞的管理者和领导者的管理行为。并且你能够明显地感受到，书记员以及他们用红色标记的字体所产生的热量，伴随着他们挣扎地抓取小组成员所描述的、在他们职业生涯过程中遇到的那些难搞的管理者和领导者的特点。
It turns out that most of us have worked for a difficult manager at some point in our careers. You know the one. He or she was the demanding force of nature-focused exclusively on results and numbers and not inclined to offer approval or show any signs of personal caring under any circumstances.很显然，我们中大部分在职业生涯的某个阶段都曾经为难相处的管理者工作过。你知道指的是谁。他或她只关注结果和数字，而不是倾向于批准或在任何环境下显示个人关心。
This difficult manager operates in a state of constant disapproval, and often practices micromanaging behaviors that exacerbate the stress in our working environment.这个难相处的管理者总是处于不满的状态，并常有恶化我们工作环境的细节管理行为。
Note: I distinguish between a difficult manager and a bully boss. The latter is abusive, the former just a pain in our necks to navigate on a daily basis. Our focus here is on the difficult but not abusive manager.注：我区分了一下难相处管理者和强势老板。后者是滥用职权，前者仅仅是日常让我们感到不舒服。我们关注难相处而不是滥用职权的管理者。
While it is absolutely not fun working for these individuals, we all encounter them, and in most instances, we are forced to figure out how to survive for a period of time. The question and focus for the remainder of this article is: How do we survive and even thrive while working for the difficult manager?为这些人工作完全没有乐趣，但我们都会遇到他们。大部分条件下，我们被迫搞清楚一定时期内如何生存。问题和本文后续的关注点是：在为难相处管理者工作时，我们如何生存并发展？
9 Ideas to Help You Survive and Succeed With Your Difficult Manager:9个建议帮你为难相处的管理者工作时生存下来并获得成功
1. Your patience is a powerful ally.1. 耐心是强有力的同伴。The difficult manager’s behaviors bring out some of our own worst behaviors. While it is tempting to snap back or display anger or frustration with the manager’s approach or seeming lack of appreciation for your efforts in a given situation, a better tactic when you feel your emotions boiling over is to bite your tongue and count to 10, 100 or 1,000 depending upon the stress level. Difficult managers I encountered, view these outbursts of emotion as signs of immaturity or even incompetence. Do not pour fuel on a difficult situation by adding your own emotions.难相处管理者的行为会引出我们最糟糕的行为。当试图压制对该类管理者的愤怒，或在看起来不欣赏你的形势下，一个较好的策略是当感到情绪将要发作时咬一下你的舌头并数到10，100或1000，数到多少取决于你的压力等级。我遇到的难打交道的管理者，将这些情绪的爆发看做不成熟或者没有能力的表现。不要徒增情绪而使困难情形火烧浇油。
2. Keep the excuses and problems to yourself. 2. 将借口和问题留给你自己。Demanding managers often are monolingual. They only speak one language: the language of results. They don’t care about problems, excuses or obstacles. They expect their team members to run through problems toward results with the same attitude.需求型管理者常常表达单一。他们只会说一门语言:那就是结果。他们不关心问题、借口和其他障碍。他们期望团队成员有同样的观点，那就是解决问题得到结果。While all of us understand that “stuff happens,” do not expect any sympathy for shortfalls due to extenuating circumstances. To them, it’s all about the scoreboard, not the effort.我们都理解“事情发生”，不要期望其因情形恶化而对你有怜悯之心。对他们来说，都是关于分数板而不是努力的过程。
3. Avoid joining the gossip thread. 3. 避免加入八卦线。The proverbial watercooler gossip critiquing your difficult manager’s behaviors is a great place to avoid. There are no circumstances you will encounter when it is good to badmouth the boss. You should always assume that the gossip and identity of the gossip mongers will make it back to the boss.批判难相处管理者的行为是最应当避免的。任何时候诋毁老板都不是好事。你应对假设，流言及传播者的身份迟早会让老板知道。
4. Turn the tables and figure out what really drives your manager. 4. 看看老板真正的动机是什么。Is she focused on getting to the next run on the corporate ladder? Is he a long-time employee who has dedicated his life to the firm? Is your area under the microscope by senior management and results are necessary for survival?她是聚焦于公司上升通道？还是一名将一生献给公司的长期雇员？你的领域暴露在高级管理者显微镜下是生存下来的必须么？While many managers are not open about what drives them in general or at a moment in time, it is your job to crack this code. Once you understand your difficult manager’s true interests you can work to identify opportunities to support those interests.通常许多管理者并不会坦露他们的驱动力，找出它们是你的工作。一旦理解难相处管理者的真正利益所在，就能找到支持它们的机会。
5. Volunteer for the dirty work. 5.自愿干脏活。There are always lingering, vexing problems that exist somewhere in the gray zone between functions in an organization. To the extent that solving the gray zone issues supports your manager’s agenda, jump in and organize the resources needed to fix what’s broken. While the boss might not verbalize appreciation, you will most definitely be perceived as more valuable to the team.公司的灰色地带总会有长期未解决的让人烦恼的问题。组织需要的资源来解决积重难返的问题，解决灰色地带的问题在某种程度上就是支持你的管理者。当老板没有口头欣赏时，你将会被认为是对团队最有价值的人。
6. Do not assume you are not appreciated. 6. 不要以为没有人欣赏你的优点。The most difficult driving managers value people they can count on to get results. They might not show it or verbalize it but you should not assume your participation is not viewed as important. Don’t preoccupy on earning someone else’s approval—focus on doing everything you can to learn and develop while driving great results.难相处的管理者认为，他们能够得到结果的人有价值。他们可能不表示或者不明说，但不要假设你的参与不重要。不要关注他人的批准——在好结果产生前关注能学习和发展的事情。
7. Use reverse psychology on micromanaging behaviors.7. 用逆反心理维管理。If your manager insists on looking over your shoulder, use questions to learn more about how he/she developed expertise in this area? Ask: “You are clearly an expert on this process. How did you develop these skills? Why do you believe your approach is so effective? How can I learn more from you about other processes in our group?” Meet the behavior with your own unique behavior of asking questions that appeal to his/her expertise. Showcase your willingness to serve as the apprentice. It might be uncomfortable, however, it is better than boiling over from this constant shoulder gazing.如果你老板时刻保持小心，那就通过问题了解他或她是如何成为这一领域的专家的。问：“你已是该工艺的专家了，如何学习这些技巧？为什么相信你的方法是有效的？我如何能从你这学到团队工艺？”用自己独特行为问他或她与专业有关的问题。展示你作为学徒的意愿。这可能会让你不舒服，但是，总比激化持续的不信任要好。
8. Do not believe you need to become friends with your boss. 8. 不要以为自己要跟老板做朋友。Many prefer to operate at a very safe distance from those they work with. Your unwelcome attempts at asserting friendship will just aggravate your boss and the situation. Find your friends elsewhere.许多人喜欢与他们工作的人保持安全的操作距离。你维护友谊的企图不受欢迎，甚至会激怒老板、恶化形势。从其他地方找朋友。
9. Share genuine appreciation for the lessons you are learning.9.对正在学习的课程表达真挚的赞赏It is disarming to laser-focused people to be told they are appreciated. If you are genuinely learning something in your role, offer a thank you for the opportunity. You might just see this emotional iceberg of a manager melt a bit.告诉拿着武器的人他们被人欣赏就是解除他们的武装。如果善于学习，那就对给予的机会说一句谢谢。你可能看到管理者情感冰山融化了一点。
The Bottom Line:篇后语：
We all have to work for someone, and occasionally that someone is demanding and difficult. If you like your work and your coworkers, don’t let the difficult manager drive you away. Instead, adjust your attitude, redouble your patience and focus on the opportunity to contribute and grow in an environment where performance is the only thing that counts. It might seem sterile and it might not be your preferred approach, but it can be a powerful learning experience.我们都不得不为他人工作。有时，其他人有需求且难以相处。如果喜欢你的工作和同事，不要让难相处的管理者把你赶走。而是，在绩效唯一可依赖的情形下，调整观点，耐心翻倍并关注此环境下努力的机会。这看起来可能没效果，且不是你喜欢的方式，但却可能是有效的学习经验。 |
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发表于 2017-8-22 20:32:20