求职锦囊：英文简历中绝不能出现的禁忌语

英语自学网

致命的大错
       
        "Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."
       
        "Qualifications: No education or experience."
       
        "I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
       
        "My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
       
        "Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."
       
        "Fired because I fought for lower pay."
       
        "Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5" .
       
        " "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."
       
        "Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."
       
        "Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
       
        打字错误与语法错误
       
        "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
       
        "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
       
        "I am a rabid typist."
       
        "Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."
       
        "After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."
       
        "Accounting cleric."
       
        "As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
       
        "Suspected to graduate early next year."
       
        "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
       
        "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
       
        "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
       
        "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
       
        "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."
       
        不应有的幽默
       
        "Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."
       
        "Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)
       
        "But wait...there's more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."
       
        "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
       
        "My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I like your company in particular."
       
        "Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles in Excellence' series."
       
        "Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."
       
        "Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."
       
        "Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience."
        （HR看到这句会囧死吧……）