图作文在英语作文中是大家普遍缺乏练习的一种类型，一个提高的方式就是看范例和点评，针对其中的错误进行自我修正。
中西文化交流：
571ae01231814c1db9d336ab37d52bb9.jpg
写作原文
In the far-reaching picture, a (an)emperor is served with coffee by a
eunuch who is holding a tray on his head and saying"Your majesty，coffee time,
please."The picture wants to convey the communication between Chinese and
Western cultures. More than 100 years ago, when China was still in the Qing
dynasty, the government carried out the "closing door" (closed door)policy which
meant cutting down any kind of communication with foreigners. As a consequence,
the power of the country had been falling down gradually and less than half of
(加the)land was controlled by foreign countries. The people's living conditions
were low(hard). Whereas, after 100 years when Chinese leader Deng Xiaoping
developed and carried out the "opening up" policy( reform and opening-up
policy), the appearance of China began to convert.(语法正确，但为中式思维。可改为：China began
to emerge with a new visage in the East.) As we all know, China's GDP has
already ranked the second all over the world, and the living conditions among
people are much better than those in Qing dynasty. Obviously, the communication
between China(Chinese)and Western culture has changed China forever. Nowadays,
many people have already realized that we should take the essence and discard
the dregs. I wanna(多用于口语中，在写作中应使用正式的表达方式，改为want to) emphasize that all of us
must do as what we say, and the future is bright.
总体点评
本文立意正确，内容切题，结构完整，保持了自己一贯的水平，且与之前“堵车现象”一文相比，语法错误少了很多，说明作者是很用心在修改自己的作文。不过，仍需要注意以下问题：1、注意细节性的语法错误，如a(an)emperor，元音开始的单词前用an。2、文章中的一些表达很好，如we
should take the essence and discard the
dregs，需注意的是保持句子的连贯性，使整个篇章读起来顺畅自然。3、文章依然存有少许汉式思维的句子，应在此方面加强。因此，建议作者在以后的考研英语写作练习中，注意每篇文章写好后反复练习，不仅使文章中的句子有亮点，而且努力达到文章从开始到结尾都保持高水准，这样文章才会流畅自然。
参考分数(满分20分)：15
英语写作水平的提升需要不断地练习，在改正错误中不断取得进步，不怕犯错误，怕明知道犯错误却不面对。看了范文和点评，希望大家有思考，有提高。
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发表于 2016-7-10 14:45:55