As if a perfumed guest stole her riches . . . The next day she wanted to
leave at noon.
I said， be back by four， I'm paying you. She sat by the door， she put out
her hand，her knuckles knocked against mine，hard deliberate knuckles. I gave her
cash.
Off to watch movies， off to smoke ganja.
2. She came back late and high as if my fear asked for it.
I called her junglee. Everything went off late —— dinner， the children
getting into bed; but the guests understood： they had servants too. She stuck
diaper pins in my children.
I cursed her openly. Who shouted? Or I cursed her silently and went my
way.
She stole bangles my husband's mother bought， bangles a hundred years
old.
But she wore frayed jewelry hawked on the street. She was like a rock that
nicked furniture in corners you'd think only a rat could go.
3. Why didn't I dismiss her?
I don't know.
She got old as I got old.
I could see her sharp shoulder bones
tighten， her knuckled skull.
I had to look at her.
It had to wound me.
Listen， said my mother. Yes mother， I listened， crouched in my head.
Looking over the flowered verandah she said：
Who are you to think you are beautiful? What have you got to show? Go sit
on your rag.
All my life I tended to looks，they betrayed me. I bore you. I am
wretched. Be my mother. Be my maid.
发表于 2016-7-10 11:41:16