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Checking Your Facebook Timeline More Often Than You Check In On
Yourself?
How truly connected do you feel to yourself and those around you? If, like
me, you love social media, your first instinct will no doubt be: I’m very well
connected, thank you very much, I’ve got tons of Facebook friends and thousands
of Twitter followers.
OK, so now let me repeat the question: how truly connected are you?
Let’s face it, most of us check in on our online selves more than we do on
our real selves and then we end up wondering why our dreams remain dreams and
our goals are just….far away goals.
If you truly want to realize your dreams and reach your goals, you need
focus and to gain focus you need to be in touch with yourself. So how do you do
that? Read on (and why not challenge yourself to avoid checking your Facebook or
Twitter timeline along the way!).
Something often needs to change when we want to realize a dream or achieve
a goal and for many of us, change can be a scary thing. Luckily, we live in such
a content rich world these days that there’s no shortage of ‘stuff’ that can
distract us from scary change: we can bury ourselves in work or general business
so we don’t have to listen to that little voice that says: life sucks at the
moment. We can eat, drink or smoke ourselves to distraction. We can lull
ourselves into a trance in front of the TV. We can enter a virtual world on our
games consoles and smart phones or…..we can lose ourselves in Facebook and
Twitter – all to avoid the scary question: so if life/part of your life sucks at
the moment, what exactly are you going to do about it??
Now here’s the thing: powerful and effective change comes from inside so if
we only focus on the world outside us, we’ll never unearth, nurture and realize
the dreams and goals we desire.
If you truly want to calm your “addiction” to the outside world and if you
want to learn to check in more with the true you rather than the virtual you to
create the change you want, follow these steps:
1. Accept you’re “outwardly addicted”
The first step to creating change is in accepting there’s a problem in the
first place. If you’re still with me at this point, some part of you no doubt
recognizes the pull of outside distractions. If you’re easily distracted by
outside “stuff”, start to pin-point what your “stuff” of choice is. Is it
additional work and business? Is it food, drink or cigarettes? Is it TV even
when there’s nothing worth watching? Is it your smart-phone (email, web surfing,
Facebook, Twitter)? Is it all of the above??
Once you know what your “stuff” of choice is, ask yourself how much time a
day you spend doing it. And yes, if you’re really serious about changing, you
can even keep a note of how many minutes and hours you distract yourself.
2. Ask yourself what you get out of being “outwardly addicted”
Yes, that’s right, we do get a positive gain out of our addictions – even
the “bad” ones! So, for example, when I used to smoke up to ten or more a day, I
used to say: “I know it’s bad for me but I really enjoy it.” What was my gain?
Ironically, smoking actually helped me take deeper breaths! And (I was shy in
those days) it gave me something to do with my hands.
Be really honest with yourself. What positive gains do you get out of your
outward addictions?
3. How could you let go of the addiction and still keep the positive
gain?
In my case, where smoking was concerned, after a long and sometimes
difficult time giving up, I eventually got fitter and took up running. After a
long, steady run, you can’t help but take deep breaths and once or twice a day
when I meditate, I make sure I take a number of “cleansing” breaths. I used to
watch more TV than I do now because I felt it helped me switch off. These days,
if there’s nothing I really want to watch, I turn the TV off or, if my other
half’s watching, I take myself off to another room to and switch off by reading
a novel.
What can you do to keep your positive gains?
4. Once you’ve let go of the outward addiction, what else could you do that
would benefit you more in the long run?
Like most people on the daily commute by train, I would more often than not
squeeze onto the train, settle down (on a seat if lucky, standing if not), reach
for my smart-phone and check Facebook or Twitter. Or my emails. Or my texts. Or
all four. One. After. The. Other. Then one day, I remember looking around me and
seeing most people on the train doing the same. Oh well. Safety in numbers. What
are we all avoiding, I wondered. And scarier still, what am I avoiding??
Luckily, recognizing I was becoming seriously outwardly addicted and losing
my connection to myself, I followed the steps I’ve listed above. And these days
whenever I get on that train or bus, I may check my phone quickly but then I’ll
be sure to do one or other of these things: meditate, do some releasing around
negative beliefs, write in my journal or revisit my goals.
Allowing yourself to do any of these things instead of getting distracted
means you’re giving to yourself and giving yourself more energy and resources to
focus on what you really want to achieve in life. Why do you think top athletes
excel? Because they have a singular focus on their goal and are tuned in to
every aspect within their mind, body and emotions that will get them there.
Why on earth would you choose to do different? So from now on:
Make a list of things you can do to connect/check in with yourself more
(make sure some of these fulfill the positive gains you used to get from your
outward addictions).
Look back at how much time you spend distracting yourself.
Commit to filling this time with things that help you connect/check in with
yourself more and…..DO IT!
（兼职编辑：张博） |
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发表于 2016-7-10 11:38:49