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Unit 2
Human Behavior
After-Class Reading
PASSAGE I When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
The owner of a New Jersey printing business was delighted when another company wanted to buy one of his used printing machines. After careful calculations, he fixed a price of $2.5 million and formulated his arguments.
When he sat down to negotiate, however, an inner voice told him, "Wait." The buyers quickly filled the silence with a rundown of the machine's strengths and weaknesses.[1] The seller said nothing. Then the buyers said, "We'll give you $3.5 million, but not a penny more." Less than an hour later, the deal was made.
Opportunities to improve a situation by "zipping your lip" come up all the time in everyday dealings with others. Sometimes the benefit of keeping your mouth shut may be that you won't have to eat your words. Take my friend Ben.[2] Like many of us when we are unsure of ourselves or trying to be polite, Ben sometimes blurts out things that come back to haunt him.[3]
The first time he was invited to dinner by his brother's new wife, she served tomato aspic. Ben hated the stuff but wanted to compliment her. So he raved, "This aspic is great!" She was so flattered that she remembered-and served it to him every time he visited for the next 15 years!
Sometimes an unthinking remark, no matter how innocently made, can have serious consequences. Harold and his wife once ran into neighbors in their apartment building late at night. Startled, he tried to be friendly and said, "I hear congratulations are in order.[4]" There was an awkward silence. Later Harold's wife reminded him that the woman had recently miscarried. "Nowadays," Harold says, "if I'm momentarily thrown[5], I count to ten before I say anything."
Not only is there wisdom in knowing when to keep your mouth shut; there are practical advantages as well. Lawyers tell a story about a man accused of biting off another fellow's ear in a brawl. A defense attorney spent the morning challenging the prosecution's main witness. He thought he had destroyed the man's story but couldn't resist one final verbal blow.[6]
"You've admitted that you were not very close to the scene of the alleged crime and that you didn't see my client bite off the ear. How can you possibly testify against him?" the defense attorney demanded.
The witness paused, then smiled and said, "I saw him spit it out."
As the saying goes, "Few men have ever repented of silence." Or few women.
My husband was under so much pressure at work when our first child was born that he became somewhat distant from me and the baby. After a few weeks of this, I was exhausted and burning to vent my feelings.
One day I wrote him an angry letter. Then, I don't know why exactly, I put the letter aside. The next day my husband offered to change the baby's diaper. "I guess it's about time I learned to do these things,"[7] he said.
I never did find out what caused his change of heart.[8] I'm glad I gave him time. A blowup would have accomplished nothing, and he was great after that.
Waiting Is a strategy that is too often overlooked in all kinds of situations. Sometimes it's a wonder what a small dose of determined silence can do.
My mother recalls the time she accompanied her friend Mary Ann to return a gift during the after-Christmas sales. The scene at the department store was pandemonium. Mary Ann asked for a refund, but the busy clerk said the dress couldn't be returned and walked away to assist another customer. Mary Ann simply plunked down the dress by the cash register and waited.
Ten minutes later, the clerk returned. Mary Ann smiled and continued to wait. The clerk busied herself at the register. Several more silent minutes passed. Then, without a word, the clerk picked up the dress and disappeared. After about three minutes she returned-with the money! Mary Ann's patient and polite silence had paid off where a loud harangue might well have failed.[9]
There are, of course, times when it is important not to keep our mouths shut-to counter injustice, to soothe a friend, to straighten out a misunderstanding. At such moments, we are obligated to speak, but the task is to find the right words. Here, too, a moment's reflection can make your remarks more precise-and effective.
Michele, my college roommate, was raised as a Quaker, but she had Jewish grandparents who died in a Nazi concentration camp. Last year, friends who were unaware of Michele's background complained that their son had married a Jewish woman. They had refused to meet their daughter-in-law and were making their son miserable. Weighing a friendship she still valued against her discomfort at blatant bigotry, Michele decided to speak up.[10] "I'm proud of my heritage, and I'm sorry you feel the way you do," she told them, "but your comments are making me very unhappy."
Stunned, Michele's friends apologized. They also took her words to heart and, not long after, made peace with their daughter-in-law.
Michele had carefully considered the effect of her words; then she spoke to them honestly and forthrightly. The result was better understanding. This is the single most important rule to remember in deciding whether or not to speak: ask yourself if what you are going to say will improve a situation or relationship.
In the past, psychologists used to say that we should "talk things out" with others. But, increasingly, I find that getting along with another human being sometimes demands tolerance and silence.
Adele Faber, co-author of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, tells how silence conquered the nightly battle over bedtime between a mother and her eight-year-old son, Jonathan.
One night Jonathan came downstairs as usual after being tucked into bed. "Mom, I can't sleep!" he said.
"Oh, you can't sleep. Hmmm," his mother replied. She stopped, looked at him with compassion and waited. A full minute passed without a word.
At last Jonathan spoke. "I think I'll put on my favorite pajamas," he said. "Then I'll sleep better." And off he went to bed.
It's not always easy to let those you love experience pain, frustration or anger. You want to relieve their problems instead of letting them find their own solutions.
Joanna, Faber's teenage daughter, came home one day looking distressed. Faber said, "Joanna, something happened," and her daughter burst into tears. "We sat on the sofa, and I held her while she sobbed," recalls Faber. "Ten minutes later she took a deep breath, looked at me and sighed. 'Thanks, Mom,' she said. Then she got up and left."
Faber never did find out what was wrong. A long, attentive, loving embrace was what Joanna wanted most. Then she would solve her problem on her own.
"Your silent support can provide the soil in which the other person's solutions begin to grow,"[11] says Faber. "Silence is not withdrawal. Silence comes out of respect. It says, 'I'm here for you, but I'm not going to get in the way.'"
Like a composer who knows that the space between the notes is as important as the notes themselves, each of us must realize that our silences can be as expressive as the words we choose. The result is greater harmony and effectiveness. (1233 words)
Proper Names
Adele Faber
(女子名)阿黛尔.费伯
Ben
(男子名)本
Harold
(男子名)哈罗德
Joanna
(女子名)乔安娜
Jonathan
(男子名)乔纳森
Michele
(女子名)米歇尔
New Jersey
新泽西州(美国)
Quaker
a member of the Society of Friends, a Christian denomination (宗教派别) founded by George Fox in 1650 公谊会(又称教友会或贵格会)教徒
New Words
allege
v. state or claim something without proof or before finding proof (无证据或发现证据之前)指控，宣称
e.g. Nearly 1, 000 public officials were alleged to be members of an illegal secret society.
alleged
adj. declared or stated to be as described 被指控的，嫌疑的
e.g. Nine people were arrested after a police investigation into an alleged attempt to steal ￡40 million from British Aerospace.
aspic
n. clear and shiny jelly made from meat or vegetable juices (花色)肉冻
bigotry
n. extreme intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one's own 偏执的行为、态度或信念
e.g. This male judge has taken his bigotry into court.
blatant
adj. shameless, offensively noticeable 无耻的，露骨的
e.g. The manager was nearby and must have observed the blatant theft.
blowup *
n. (informal) a violent argument, outburst of temper or the like 激烈的争论，脾气爆发
e.g. I think they've had a blowup again.
brawl
n. noisy quarrel or fight 争吵，打架
e.g. His two front teeth were knocked out in a brawl.
burning
adj. intense; passionate 强烈的，热烈的，迫切的
e.g. Suddenly she felt a burning desire to tell him the truth.
calculation *
n. a way of using numbers in order to find out an amount, price, or value 计算，推算，估计(的结果)
e.g. Our calculations show that the firm made a profit of over $ 1 million last year.
dealings
n. (plural) personal or business relations (私人或商务)交往、关系
e.g. I've had dealings with him, but I don't know him very well.
diaper
n. (AmE) a piece of folded cloth or other absorbent material worn as underpants by a baby 尿布
effectiveness *
n. the state of being adequate to accomplish a purpose or producing the intended result 有效，能产生预期效果
e.g. Methods vary dramatically in effectiveness.
embrace
1) n. an encircling hug with the arms 拥抱，怀抱
e.g. They greeted us with warm embraces.
2) v. put arms around someone and hold them tightly to show love or affection 拥抱，怀抱
e.g. Before she could embrace him he stepped away.
forthrightly
adv. clearly and honestly; straightforwardly 言行坦诚地，直率地
e.g. He has a reputation for criticizing others forth-rightly.
harangue
n. a loud long speech that criticizes or blames people, or tries to persuade them 慷慨冗长的训话，言辞激烈的讲话
e.g. Whenever they started their harangue, he simply sat back and stopped listening.
innocently *
adv. without intentions of offending others无恶意地，无害地
e.g. Innocently, I asked her what her feelings about the strike were.
miscarry
v. (of a woman) to have a miscarriage 流产
e.g. Emma miscarried and nearly died.
momentarily
adv. temporarily, for a very short time 短暂地，瞬间地，片刻地
e.g. Rosie paused momentarily, then clearing her throat she continued.
Nazi
adj. of or relating to the Nazis 纳粹党的
nightly
adj. coming or occurring each night or at night 夜间的，每夜的
e.g. I was watching the nightly television news.
obligate *
v. (usually passive) make someone feel or understand that some action is morally or legally necessary(在法律或道义上)强制......做某事，使负有责任，负有义务
e.g. Ha was obligated to carry out his current orders and felt he had no choice.
pajamas
n. a soft loose-fitting pair of trousers and short coat worn in bed, especially by men 睡衣裤
pandemonium
n. a state of wild and noisy disorder大混乱，嘈杂骚乱(的场面)
prosecution *
n. (used with the) the group of people who represent the person bringing a criminal charge against someone in court 控方，代表原告的律师
e.g. I) I appeared as a witness for the prosecution in a trial at the court.
II) The public interest required fairness to the prosecution as well as the defence.
rave
v. talk or write with great or too great enthusiasm 极力夸奖，狂热赞扬
e.g. The car magazines have been raving about the new model.
relieve
v. lessen or remove (pain, anxiety, trouble, etc.) 缓解，减轻，解除(痛苦，忧虑，麻烦等)
e.g. I) By writing down all the birthdays you relieve yourself of the burden of remembering them.
II) Costs and delays are increasing and there appear to be no extra resources to relieve these problems.
repent
v. (formal) feel sorry for and wish one had not done something bad 懊悔，后悔
e.g. He repented of his sins just hours before he died.
rundown
n. a point-by-point summary 扼要报告，总结
e.g. We should give Charlie a quick rundown on what we've done so far.
sofa
n. a comfortable seat with raised arms and a back, wide enough for 2 or 3 people (长)沙发.
stun
v. shock or surprise (somebody) very greatly, especially with something unexpected 使震惊，使目瞪口呆
e.g. I) I was stunned by the news of his death.
II) News of the disaster stunned people throughout the world.
testify
v. give evidence, declare as a witness, especially in court 作证(尤指出庭),证明
e.g. I) Two witnesses testified against her and one in her favor.
II) He testified that he had seen the man leaving the building around the time of the murder.
tolerance
n. willingness or ability to bear somebody or something 容忍，忍受
e.g. I) He has a sense of humor plus tolerance and patience.
II) My tolerance of heat is considerably greater after having lived in the Far East for 2 years.
unthinking
adj. said, done, etc. without proper consideration; thoughtless 考虑不周的，疏忽的
e.g. What annoys me about these people is their unthinking hostility to anything foreign or unfamiliar.
withdrawal *
n.
1) social or emotional detachment (社交场合或情绪方面的)冷漠
e.g. Despite the apparent willingness to cooperate, he sensed a withdrawal in her eyes.
2) an amount of money someone takes from his bank 取款,提款
e.g. The bank became suspicious after several large withdrawals were made from his account in a single week.
zip
v. close or open with or as if with a zipper (用拉链或像拉链那样)合上或打开
Phrases and Expressions
in order
1) appropriate, desirable 合适的，适宜的
e.g. Congratulations are in order for Evelyn Hamilton who has won the Luard Scholarship, which gives her a year of study in England with all expenses paid.
2) properly organized, in proper state or condition 整齐，有条不紊
e.g. Thousands of trees have been planted in order to create new woodlands for the future.
blurt out
say something suddenly and without thinking 脱口而出
e.g. I) She suddenly blurted out, "I'm not going."
II) He burst into tears, blurting out his guilt before his horrified parents.
come up
arise, become available, take place
e.g. I) We'll let you know if any vacancies come up.
II) When the opportunity to run a major film studio came up, she took it immediately.
eat one's words
admit that what one said was wrong, take back humbly something one has said 承认说错，收回前言
e.g. I) I was made to eat my words when the scheme turned out to be a great success.
II) They said he'd never win another tournament, but a year later he forced them to eat their words as he won the US Open.
in the way
causing inconvenience or an obstruction 妨碍，阻碍
e.g. I) He tried to get to the door, but the table was in the way.
II) I couldn't see the stage because there was a pillar in the way.
make peace with someone
put an end to a quarrel with someone 和解，言归于好
e.g. She went to her mother's room to make peace with her.
run into someone
meet someone by chance 偶然遇见某人
e.g. I ran into an old neighbor of mine at the garage this afternoon.
speak up
say publicly and freely what one thinks 明确而坦率地发表意见
e.g. I) Never be frightened of speaking up for your beliefs.
II) We all agreed to speak up at the next town meeting about the poor bus service.
straighten out
settle or resolve, remove difficulties from (something) 处理，解决，整顿
e.g. I) A legal contract does help to straighten out the mess when things go wrong.
II) There are a few matters I need to straighten out with you before we start.
take... to heart
be deeply affected by, grieve over 对......深为感动，为......而悲痛
e.g. I) I took your criticism very much to heart.
II) You needn't take a little incident so much to heart.
weigh... against...
compare two facts or situations when you are making a decision in order to decide which is more important 权衡，掂量，斟酌
e.g. I) You must weigh one fact against the next to arrive at an answer.
II) Weighing the advantages of the operation against the risks involved, he decided to take some medicine instead.
zip one's lip
stop talking, keep a secret 缄口不言，不露风声
e.g. They told her to zip her lip if she didn't want trouble.
PASSAGE II Overcoming Procrastination: A Practical Approach
Do you find that you often begin correspondence with a phrase like, "I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you,"[1] or, "My apologies for the delay in responding"? This may be an indication that you're in the habit of putting things off. Similarly, a desk of files filled with projects which you have yet to begin or which are partially completed but inactive,[2] is another sure sign that there's a problem. If you are one of those people who insists on cleaning up all the little projects awaiting you, in order to remove those "bothersome little things" before you begin a major project, you are actually engaging in procrastination by allowing yourself to fall victim to the "tyranny of the trivial." [3]
Reasons for Procrastinating
Like many issues involving time management, procrastination is a behavioral problem, and like all such problems it can, with sufficient motivation, be changed. In order to change a behavioral pattern, however, it is necessary to understand the reasons for that behavior.
Don't know where to start. If you think about it, the tasks which you tend to postpone will generally fall into two categories. The first of these is the fairly large or complex task. Such tasks are generally important in their outcome, which only adds to the pressure to do a good job, and yet their very complexity makes it difficult to know just where or how to begin. The result is that the task is put off until it simply has to be dealt with.
An unpleasant task. The second category of task commonly postponed is that which is either unpleasant to do or may have unpleasant consequences.[4] This may be some aspect of your work that you simply don't enjoy, or it may be something like a negative job appraisal for an employee, for which you know there will be repercussions. Again, the task is put off until other pressures make it necessary for it to be tackled.
Fear of failure. On a bit more "psychological" note,[5] there are those who put off tasks because they have a subconscious fear that they will not be able to perform them satisfactorily. Related to this are those who hold themselves to the standard of perfection for all work they do.[6] If they suspect that their work will be less than perfect they may be inclined to put it off.
Excusing sub-standard performance. At the opposite end of the spectrum are those who use procrastination (generally not on a conscious level) as a means of excusing work which they know is of poor quality.[7] " I could have done better if I'd had more time," is the general refrain of such people,[8] though on closer examination it may be found that they didn't have time because they chose to procrastinate. Keep in mind, of course, that there are some projects which do come up as emergencies and for which you really don't have sufficient time, so don't assume that this refrain is always a sign of a procrastination problem.
Overcoming Procrastination
It is important that you take the time to recognize which reasons apply most to you or to your staff members. By doing so you will be able to select from the solutions that follow, the one or more that will best help you to overcome procrastination.[9]
Use the SWAP approach. If you analyze an overwhelming task that is currently facing you, you will probably find that it can be broken down into a number of smaller, more manageable pieces. A logical order will emerge for completing each part, or you may have to impose such an order on the component parts. You can then SWAP-Start With A Part. And if you've listed the various parts in writing-which is recommended-you can have the pleasure of crossing them off step by step, and seeing a visual representation of the fact that as you complete each step you bring your-self closer to the completion of the overall project.
The importance of deadline. We tend to see deadlines as a cause of stress rather than as a solution. This is because they are often unrealistic, and they are often imposed by others. Actually, when you face a project of which no deadline has been established, you should establish one. This helps you to focus on a project, and it helps you plan your time. Deadlines should not be set only for the completion of the project, but for the various steps along the way as well. Be sure, however, that your deadlines are realistic, or you will only increase the pressure which deadlines-strange as it may seem-have the power to reduce.
The power of priorities. When is procrastination not procrastination? When you have postponed low priority tasks in order to complete tasks of a higher priority. Not everything we do has the same importance and we must recognize this and use it in setting priorities. We must also remember that priorities must constantly be reevaluated and recorded as circumstances change. If you find that the tasks you are postponing are consistently of low importance, don't worry. Sometimes, though, you may find that high priority items are the very ones you seek to avoid, while filling your time with "comfort tasks." If this is the case you may choose to give yourself a reward. It may sound trivial, but it works.
Tell someone else. If you have a big project to work on, let someone else know about it, and let them know what your deadline is. It may be a co-worker, it may be a family member, it may be a friend. The fact is that while we often don't mind disappointing ourselves, we are far less likely to disappoint others. Thus, we have the incentive to work on the project, if for no other reason than that we would be embarrassed to have to admit to a friend, family member or co-worker, that we have failed.[10]
Avoid momentum busters. It is imperative that you build-and maintain-momentum in working on a project.[11] As Newton tells us, "A body at rest tends to remain at rest, while a body in motion tends to remain in motion." Newton wasn't talking about procrastination, but he might have been. Surely the most important step in completing any project is to start it, by whatever means necessary. Once you've started, then you have to try to avoid things that will bring you to a halt again. The worst of these is interruptions. If at all possible,[12] try to remove yourself from the source of interruptions. It's all right to say to a friend that you can't talk because you're working on an important project. And as far as the interruptions you can't avoid, be sure that you return to the project immediately after you have dealt with them. Don't stop when you're facing a difficulty, because you won't be inclined to return to the project and face that same difficulty the next time.
Breaking habits requires the creation of other, better habits in their place, and this is never an overnight process. Nor should it be an overwhelming one.[13] The surest route to failure is to look at this list of solutions and attempt to put them all into effect at once. Select a single solution which seems to have the greatest impact on your specific pattern of procrastination behavior, and begin to put that into effect immediately. Recognize that it will take some time before these new behaviors become ingrained in your regular work process. Once they have, however, you can add additional solutions and change additional behaviors, always being careful to avoid the temptation to become obsessed with the subject. There are, and there always will be, things that you should postpone until later, and you must differentiate these from cases of true procrastination. (1332 words)
Proper Names
Newton
牛顿(1642-1727)英国物理学家、数学家和天文学家
New Words
appraisal
n.
1) the estimate or considered opinion of the nature, quality, importance, etc. 对......作出的评价、鉴定、评估
e.g. I) How do I obtain a proper appraisal of my work?
II) Remember that the appraisal you will receive will be the judgement of a professional publisher, exactly the person your work must convince.
2) the act of estimating or judging the nature or value of something or someone 评价，鉴定，评估
e.g. The boss is busy with the annual appraisal of the employees' work.
bothersome *
adj. troublesome, annoying 引起麻烦的，令人厌烦的
e.g. Aircraft noise is particularly bothersome here since we're close to Heathrow Airport.
buster
n. (AmE) a person or thing that destroys or stops something 起破坏、制止作用的人或物
e.g. He's been a crime buster (侦破罪案的侦探) for years.
completion *
n. the state of having been finished or completed 完成
e.g. I) His work was still far from completion.
II) On successful completion of the course, students should be in a position to contribute significantly to a wide range of industrial research.
imperative *
adj. absolutely necessary or required 必要的，紧急的
e.g. It is imperative that we make a quick decision.
incentive
n. something that arouses someone to action, stimulus 刺激，鼓励
e.g. I) The promise of a bonus (奖金) acted as an incentive to greater effort.
II) He had no necessity to write, and therefore no incentive to go on practicing
his spelling.
ingrained
adj. firmly fixed or established, difficult to change 根深蒂固的，牢固的
e.g. The belief that you should own your house is deeply ingrained in British society.
interruption *
n. an act or instance of making a break or causing to stop, or the state of being broken off 打断，阻碍，中断
e.g. I) She hates interruptions when she's working.
II) I wish it was possible to work without interruption in this office.
manageable *
adj. that can be managed, easily controlled 可管理的，可处理的，易控制的
e.g. I) Books and documents are manageable in small numbers.
II) They want a house big enough to have friends and family to stay, but compact enough to be manageable.
momentum
n. force that increases the rate of development of a process; impetus 动力，冲力，势头
e.g. I) The trend towards political change in South Africa was gathering momentum.
II) The firm has been growing rapidly, but you can't keep that kind of momentum up forever.
procrastinate
v. keep delaying something that must be done 拖延，耽搁
e.g. I know I have to deal with the problem at some point-I'm just procrastinating.
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发表于 2016-7-10 09:23:21