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Unit 2
Manners
After-Class Reading
PASSAGE 1 Who Pays the Check?
On their first date, Maureen and Dennis ate at one of the most popular Italian restaurants in town. The two, who had met at a fitness club[1], enjoyed each other's company at dinner, but when the waiter later placed the check between them, the relaxed mood of the evening seemed to vanish. Who would pay the check? Dennis had asked Maureen out, but she had been the one to suggest dinner and at this particular restaurant. He seemed to hesitate, then reached for the bill. "Oh, no, he wanted me to offer," Maureen thought. "Is it too late now — how much should I pay?"
The days when men were the only ones to ask for dates, and women had their evenings paid for, seem to be on the wane, but there are no rules about who pays for what when couples go out. Instead, many women and men tend to play it by ear, often trying to second-guess each other. For instance, a woman may wonder: "Should I pay for half for the sake of equality and to avoid any notion that I owe him anything?" A man may wonder: "Should I pick up the tab on the first date and hope she'll get it the next time?"
Who pays for a date can establish or reflect the roles of each person in the relationship. Dr Catherine Gildner, a Toronto psychologist, says money gives a person a measure of power. If a man asks a woman out and picks up the entire tab, it casts the couple into traditional roles, which some women and men now find unsuitable. In some cases, a woman resents a date if he feels that, by paying, he has more power — e.g., to choose the restaurant and meal — or he mistakenly assumes that she is obliged to him in some way[2]. Or a man may resent a date who automatically expects him to be entirely responsible for the bill. Splitting the check on the first few dates can help start the relationship as one between two equals, Dr Gildner suggests. It also allows you to evaluate each other more objectively. For instance, it helps to prevent any notion that you're obliged to your date in some way merely because he picked up the tab for an expensive evening. And it may reassure him that you're dating him to spend time with him — not to eat for free[3]. It may also mean the two of you can afford to go out more often.
When possible[4], it is best to deal with dating expenses in the beginning, according to Bruce Barnes, a Toronto psychotherapist. For example, suppose that you like to pay your way[5] on a first date and a man invites you to dinner at his favorite restaurant, which you know is pricey. You might reply, "I'd love to go out with you, but that restaurant is too expensive for me." Then, you could suggest another place. This way, "you can both sit back and enjoy the meal without any hidden expectations or assumptions," Barnes says.
Sharing dating expenses needn't involve using a calculator to tabulate who drank more wine or who had dessert. If you want to split the check, 50-50 is probably best, despite who ate what. Barnes says that other egalitarian methods of dating, such as paying on alternate dates or reciprocating with home-cooked meals, can also help you maintain an equal balance in a relationship. For example, some women and men feel that the person who initiated the date — regardless of whether it was the man or the woman — should pick up the tab the first time, then the other person can reciprocate next time.
Barnes says some men who are insecure feel that their masculinity is threatened when a woman picks up the tab. If your date always insists on paying the entire bill and you prefer to share the cost at least sometimes, you might say, "I wouldn't have accepted your invitation unless I wanted to go out with you and pay for half."
On the other hand, some women who insist on paying 50 percent of everything on every date may be revealing their own insecurity: they may be unsure of their independence and need to prove it all the time, according to Dr Gildner. She says that the 50-50 arrangement need not be a rule "for all times and forever." As you become more secure in a relationship and see each other more often, you can work out arrangements that suit each of you.
Indeed, splitting the bill 50-50 is sometimes unfair. For example, Barnes suggests that you assume your date is picking up the check if he asks you out, then chooses a restaurant without consulting you, and orders an expensive entrée and a bottle of wine to match[6], while you're modest in your meal selection. In this situation, if your date looks at the check and says, "Your half comes to...," he's not a liberated man who is treating you as an equal — he's just plain cheap[7], says Barnes. (848 words)
Proper Names
Amy Vanderbilt
(女子名)艾米.范德比尔特
Dutch
荷兰的
Emily
(女子名)埃米莉
Jane Trahey
(女子名)简.特拉希
New Words
advancement*
n. the obtaining of a higher position or rank 提升，升级
awkward
adj. causing inconvenience, anxiety or embarrassment 尴尬的
e.g. You are putting me in an awkward position.
baffle
v. confuse, to puzzle 使困惑
e.g. The problem baffled all the candidates.
blessing
n. something that brings happiness 幸事，喜事
e.g. It was a blessing that no one was injured.
concerned*
adj. involved, interested 有关的，有牵连的
e.g. As far as I'm concerned, they're making an unnecessary fuss.
dummy
n. a stupid person; fool 傻瓜
entrepreneur
n. a person who starts a company or business, with the chance of profit or loss 企业家
etiquette
n. the formal rules for polite behavior in society or in a particular group 礼节，礼仪
exit
v. leave a place 出去，离去
e.g. She exited without being noticed.
n. a door or space through which one can leave a place; the act of leaving a place 出去，离去;出口，安全门
e.g. I ) After the performance, the actress made a graceful exit.
II ) There are two emergency exits, one at the back and the other at the front of the hall.
foolhardy
adj. foolishly brave; taking unnecessary risks 鲁莽的
e.g. She is foolhardy enough to risk all her money on this crazy plan.
fragile
adj. easily damaged, broken or harmed 易损坏的，易受伤害的
e.g. Be careful with that vase-it's very fragile and worth a lot of money.
garbage
n. rubbish 垃圾 废物
initiative
n. the first movement or act which starts something happening 主动的行动，倡仪
e.g. He went to see the dean on his own initiative.
innate
adj. in one's nature; possessed by birth 天生的，固有的
e.g. The ability to learn language is an innate human ability.
lout
n. a rude, violent man粗鄙的人，举止粗鲁的人
lurk
v. wait somewhere quietly and secretly, usually because one is going to do something wrong 潜伏，埋伏
e.g. There was a man lurking in the bushes.
outlive
v. to live longer than someone else 比……活得长
e.g. He outlived his elder brother by fifteen years.
steer
v. direct the course of 引导，带领
e.g. The policeman steered the children across the street.
Phrases and Expressions
as far as ... is concerned
就……而言
e.g. The rise in interest rates will be disastrous as far as small firms are concerned.
at the mercy of
unable to do anything to protect oneself from someone or something 任凭……摆布，在……面前无能为力
e.g. They were lost at sea, at the mercy of the wind.
come up
happen 发生
e.g. Let me know if anything interesting comes up.
in need of
needing help, advice, money, etc. 有……的需要，有……的必要
e.g. I was all right but badly in need of rest.
in terms of
relating to . . . , with regard to ... 在……方面，从……方面(说来)
e.g. In terms of value to this company, how much do you think you are worth?
insist on
require or demand, refusing to accept an alternative 坚决主张
e.g. My grandmother insists on cleanliness in the kitchen.
out of step
not conforming to what others are doing or thinking 与他人不协调
e.g. He is out of step with modern ideas.
pick up
collect; to arrange to go and get 取(物);接(人)，接载(人)
e.g. I will stop by your house and pick you up at noon.
refer to ... as
mention or speak about someone or something as 把……称作
e. g. She often refers to Mr Smith as "the boss".
take the initiative
take the first action; to make the first move on an issue 采取主动，首先采取行动
e.g. Anne took the initiative to discuss problems among the staff.
PASSAGE II Who Pays the Check?
On their first date, Maureen and Dennis ate at one of the most popular Italian restaurants in town. The two, who had met at a fitness club[1], enjoyed each other's company at dinner, but when the waiter later placed the check between them, the relaxed mood of the evening seemed to vanish. Who would pay the check? Dennis had asked Maureen out, but she had been the one to suggest dinner and at this particular restaurant. He seemed to hesitate, then reached for the bill. "Oh, no, he wanted me to offer," Maureen thought. "Is it too late now — how much should I pay?"
The days when men were the only ones to ask for dates, and women had their evenings paid for, seem to be on the wane, but there are no rules about who pays for what when couples go out. Instead, many women and men tend to play it by ear, often trying to second-guess each other. For instance, a woman may wonder: "Should I pay for half for the sake of equality and to avoid any notion that I owe him anything?" A man may wonder: "Should I pick up the tab on the first date and hope she'll get it the next time?"
Who pays for a date can establish or reflect the roles of each person in the relationship. Dr Catherine Gildner, a Toronto psychologist, says money gives a person a measure of power. If a man asks a woman out and picks up the entire tab, it casts the couple into traditional roles, which some women and men now find unsuitable. In some cases, a woman resents a date if he feels that, by paying, he has more power — e.g., to choose the restaurant and meal — or he mistakenly assumes that she is obliged to him in some way[2]. Or a man may resent a date who automatically expects him to be entirely responsible for the bill. Splitting the check on the first few dates can help start the relationship as one between two equals, Dr Gildner suggests. It also allows you to evaluate each other more objectively. For instance, it helps to prevent any notion that you're obliged to your date in some way merely because he picked up the tab for an expensive evening. And it may reassure him that you're dating him to spend time with him — not to eat for free[3]. It may also mean the two of you can afford to go out more often.
When possible[4], it is best to deal with dating expenses in the beginning, according to Bruce Barnes, a Toronto psychotherapist. For example, suppose that you like to pay your way[5] on a first date and a man invites you to dinner at his favorite restaurant, which you know is pricey. You might reply, "I'd love to go out with you, but that restaurant is too expensive for me." Then, you could suggest another place. This way, "you can both sit back and enjoy the meal without any hidden expectations or assumptions," Barnes says.
Sharing dating expenses needn't involve using a calculator to tabulate who drank more wine or who had dessert. If you want to split the check, 50-50 is probably best, despite who ate what. Barnes says that other egalitarian methods of dating, such as paying on alternate dates or reciprocating with home-cooked meals, can also help you maintain an equal balance in a relationship. For example, some women and men feel that the person who initiated the date — regardless of whether it was the man or the woman — should pick up the tab the first time, then the other person can reciprocate next time.
Barnes says some men who are insecure feel that their masculinity is threatened when a woman picks up the tab. If your date always insists on paying the entire bill and you prefer to share the cost at least sometimes, you might say, "I wouldn't have accepted your invitation unless I wanted to go out with you and pay for half."
On the other hand, some women who insist on paying 50 percent of everything on every date may be revealing their own insecurity: they may be unsure of their independence and need to prove it all the time, according to Dr Gildner. She says that the 50-50 arrangement need not be a rule "for all times and forever." As you become more secure in a relationship and see each other more often, you can work out arrangements that suit each of you.
Indeed, splitting the bill 50-50 is sometimes unfair. For example, Barnes suggests that you assume your date is picking up the check if he asks you out, then chooses a restaurant without consulting you, and orders an expensive entrée and a bottle of wine to match[6], while you're modest in your meal selection. In this situation, if your date looks at the check and says, "Your half comes to...," he's not a liberated man who is treating you as an equal — he's just plain cheap[7], says Barnes. (848 words)
Proper Names
Bruce Barnes
(男子名)布鲁斯.巴恩斯
Catherine Gildner
(女子名)凯瑟琳.吉尔德纳
Dennis
(男子名)丹尼斯
Italian
意大利的
Maureen
(女子名)莫林
Toronto
(地名)多伦多(加拿大东南部港市)
New Words
alternate
adj. happening or following one after another; one of every two 交替的;间隔的
e.g. I ) We have had a week of alternate rain and sunshine (时雨时晴).
II) Our committee meets on alternate Thursdays.
arrangement
n.
1) something that has been settled or agreed on 商定之事，协商
e.g. I have an arrangement with my ex-wife (前妻) to see the children every weekend.
2) (usually plural) a plan made in preparation for something 筹划，准备
e.g. They have already made all arrangements for the conference.
calculator
n. a small electronic device for making mathematical calculations 计算器
e.g. You won't be allowed to carry a programmable calculator into the exam.
consult
v. seek guidance or information from; to refer to for information 请教，咨询，查阅
e.g. I ) He consulted his doctor about his health.
II ) You'd better consult an encyclopedia (百科全书) for the details of the event.
date
n.
1) a social or romantic appointment 约会
e.g. Mary and Frank went to the movies for their first date.
2) a person with whom one has a social or romantic appointment约会对象
e.g. He said his date was one of the girls in the show.
v. to go out with someone for romantic interest 与……约会
e.g. For a year I dated a girl who was a research assistant.
egalitarian
adj. having or showing the belief that all people are equal and should have equal rights 主张平等的
entree
n. the main dish of a meal (美)主菜
fitness *
n. the state of being physically fit 健康
e.g. Physical fitness is encouraged for children in most schools.
initiate
v. cause (a process or action) to begin 开始，发起
e.g. I ) Mary initiated a conversation with the man sitting next to her.
II ) The city council has initiated a house-building program for the poor.
masculinity
n. the characteristics and qualities considered to be typical of men 男子气概
mistakenly*
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发表于 2016-7-10 09:23:08