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Research on what makes a marriage work shows that people in a good marriage
have completed these psychological "tasks":
关于“是什么使婚姻美满”的研究表明，那些拥有幸福婚姻的人们往往已经完成了这些心理“任务”。
1 Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of
estrangement, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your
parents and siblings。
在感情上与你成长的家庭分开;不要到产生隔阂的地步，但要足以使你的身份独立于你的父母和兄弟姐妹。
2 Build togetherness based on a shared intimacy and identity, while at the
same time set boundaries to protect each partner's autonomy。
在相互的亲昵和一致的基础上建立归属感，但同时也要设定一些界限来保障每一个成员的自主权。
3 Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual relationship and protect it from
the intrusions of the workplace and family obligations。
建立一种丰富而又愉快的性关系，并保护其免受繁杂工作和家庭义务的干扰。
4 For couples with children, embrace the daunting roles of parenthood and
absorb the impact of a baby's entrance into the marriage. Learn to continue the
work of protecting the privacy of you and your spouse as a couple。
对于有孩子的夫妻，坦然地接受父母这样的严峻角色，消化掉因宝宝的出现而对婚姻生活造成的影响。夫妻双方还要学会继续保护自己和配偶的隐私。
5 Confront and master the inevitable crises of life。
共同面对和掌控生活中不可避免的危机。
6 Maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity. The
marriage should be a safe haven in which partners are able to express their
differences, anger and conflict。
在面对逆境时保持婚姻关系的稳定。婚姻应当是一个安全的港湾，在这里夫妻之间可以表达他们的不同观点、忿怒和冲突。
7 Use humor and laughter to keep things in perspective and to avoid boredom
and isolation。
通过幽默和笑声来对待事情，避免厌倦和孤立。
8 Nurture and comfort each other, satisfying each partnerís needs for
dependency and offering continuing encouragement and support。
扶持和安慰彼此，满足彼此依恋的需求，并提供持续性的鼓励和支持。
9 Keep alive the early romantic, idealized images of falling in love, while
facing the sober realities of the changes wrought by time。
随着时间的流逝，即使面对理性的现实，也要保持年轻时候一颗浪漫的心和坠入爱河时美好的憧憬。 |
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发表于 2016-7-10 00:01:09