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Publish Date: April 8, 2007
FAMILYIS UNEASYWHEN ONE SISTER DATES OTHER'S EX-LOVER
DEAR ABBY:
My sister, "Jane," and I are both in our mid-50s. Jane has had
numerousaffairsover the past several yearsafter her third divorce, and was
involved in an "intimate relationship" with a terrific man, "Will," that
lastedabout three months. Jane broke up with Will several months after she
decided he wasn't what she was lookingfor, and she's presently engaged to be
married to a very nice man ("Sam") and seems very happy.
I dated Will several times before he and Jane became involved. We weren't
intimateat that time, and we start-ed seeing each other again over the last
month. This time we have fallen in love.
My problem is Jane is upset that Will and I are together and says I have
"betrayed" her. She is worried abouthaving her former and current lovers present
at family gatherings, and our parents are also concerned. They sayit's "just
weird." The fact that my sister was intimatewith Will doesn't bother me or Will,
but it sure bothersthem.
Abby, I have always been the "good girl" in the family and bowed to
theirpressure, but my relationship withWill is more than I could have ever
imagined, and I don't want to give up my future happiness just to make mysister
and my parents more comfortable. My adult children have all met and approve of
Will and our relation-ship, but Jane and my parents won't budge. Any
suggestions?
-- WANTS WILLIN WALLAWALLA, WASH.
DEAR WANTS WILL: Perhaps it's time to stop being the "good girl," begin
acting like a woman who knowswhat she wants, and confrontthe double standardin
your family. If your sister was "sophisticated" enough tohave serial affairs,
and your parents have been so worldlythey have turned a blind eye to it, then
they shouldall be adult enough to realize that you are entitled to your
happiness, too.
Although this may make for some awkward first few family gatherings, as
grown-ups, everyone should be ableto get past it. But if they can't, you are
going to have to decide whether you want this man, or to be a people-pleaserfor
the rest of your life. |
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发表于 2016-7-13 22:57:06