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发表于 2016-7-12 22:30:57
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While we are talking sports, just last month, a wonderful story. An
American won the Boston Marathon for the first time in 30 years. [Applause]
Which was inspiring and only fair since a Kenyan has been president for the last
six. We have to even things out.
We have some other athletes here tonight, including Olympic snowboarding
gold medalist Jamie Anderson is here.We are proud of her. Incredibly talented
young lady. Michelle and I watch the Olympics, we cannot believe what these
folks do. Death-defying feats. We haven’t seen somebody pull a 180 that fast
since Rand Paul disinvitied that disgruntled rancher from this dinner.
[laughter]
As a general rule, things don’t end well if the sentence starts, “Let me
tell you something I know about the negro.” You don’t really need to hear the
rest of it. [Laughter] Just a tip for you. Don’ t start your sentence that way.
[Laughter]
Speaking of Rand Paul, —[laughter] Colorado legalized marijuana this year.
An interesting social experiment.I do hope it does not lead to a bunch of
paranoid people who think the federal government is out to get them and
listening to their phone calls. [Laughter]That would be a problem.
[Laughter]
And speaking of conservative heroes, the Koch brothers bought a table here
tonight. But they used a shadow yright-wing organization as a front. Hello, Fox
News. [Laughter] [applause] I’mjust kidding. Let’s face it, Fox, you’ l miss me
when I’ m gone. [Laughter] Itwill be harder to convince the American people that
Hillary was born in Kenya.[Laughter] [applause]
A lot of us really are concerned about the way that money is influencing
our politics. I remember when a superpack with me was buying Marlboro 100s
instead of regulars. [Laughter] Of course, now that it is 2014, Washington is
obsessed on the midterms. Folks are saying that with my sagging poll numbers, my
fellow democrats don’t really want me campaigning with them. I don’t think that
is true, although I did notice the other day that Sasha needed a speaker at
career day and she invited BillClinton. [Laughter] I was a little hurt by
that.
Both sides are doing whatever it takes to win. The ruthless game.
Republicans — this is a true story.Republicans actually brought in a group
consultant to teach their candidateshow to speak to women. This is true. I don’t
know if it’ll work for women, butI understand America’s teenage boys are signing
up to run for the Senate indroves. [Laughter] [applause]
Anyway, while you guys focus on the horse race, I’m going to do what I do.
I will be focused on everyday Americans. Just yesterday I read a heartbreaking
letter. I get letters from folks around the country every day. I get 10 that I
read. This one got me. AVirginia man who’s been stuck in the same part-time job
for years. No respectfrom his boss. There was no chance to get ahead. I really
wish Eric Cantor would stop writing me. You can just pick up the phone, Eric.
[Laughter][applause]
I am feeling sorry, believe itand not, for the Speaker of the House. These
days, the House Republicans give John Boehner a harder time than they give me.
Which means orange really is the new black. [Laughter] [applause]
But I have not given up the idea of working with Congress. In fact, two
weeks ago, Senator Ted Cruz and I, wegot a bill done together and I have to say
the signing ceremony was something special. We got a picture of it I think.
[Laughter]
Look, I know. Washington seems more dysfunctional than ever. Gridlock has
gotten so bad in this town, you haveto wonder what did we do to piss off Chris
Christie so bad? [Laughter]
One issue, for example, wehaven’t been able to agree on is unemployment
insurance. Republicans continue to refuse to extend it. You know what, I am
beginning to think they have a point. If you don’t want to get paid while not
working, you should have to runfor Congress just like everybody else. [Laughter]
[applause]
There is one thing that keepsRepublicans busy. They have tried more than 50
times to repeal Obamacare.Despite that, 8 million people signed up for
healthcare in the first open enrollment. [Applause] Which does lead one to ask,
how well does Obamacare haveto work before you don’t want to repeal it? What if
everyone’s cholesteroldrops to 120? What if your yearly checkup came with
tickets to a Clippers’game? Not the old Donald Sterling Clippers, the new Oprah
Clippers. What if itgave Mitch McConnell a pulse? What is it going to take?
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