2014年奥巴马在白宫记者协会晚宴（视频）

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        　　文稿如下：
        　　Thank You. Thank you so much.Thank you very much. Thank you. Everyone,
please have a seat. Have a seat.
        　　Before I get started, can we get the new presidential set up out here?
[Laughter] It has worked before.[Laughter] That is more like it.
        　　It is great to be back. What a year, huh? I usually start these dinners
with a few self-deprecating jokes.After my stellar 2013, what can I possibly
talk about? [Laughter]
        　　I admit it — last year was rough.Sheesh. [Laughter]
        　　At one point, things got so bad,the 47 percent called Mitt Romney to
apologize. [Laughter]
        　　Of course, we rolled out Healthcare.gov. That could have gone better.
[Laughter]
        　　In 2008, my slogan was “Yes, wecan.” In 2013, my slogan was “Control, alt,
delete.” [Laughter]
        　　On the plus side, they did turn the launch of Healthcare.gov into one of
the year’ s biggest movies. [Laughter]But rather than dwell on the past, I would
like to pivot to this dinner.
        　　Let’s welcome our headliner this evening, Joel McHale. [Applause] On
“Community,” Joel plays a preening,self-obsessed narcissist, so this dinner must
be a real change of pace for you.[Laughter] I want to thank the White House
Correspondents Association forhosting us here tonight. I am happy to be here,
even though I am a little jet-lagged from my trip to Malaysia. The lengths we
have to go to to get CNN coverage these days. [Laughter] [applause]
        　　I think they are still searching for their tables. [Laughter]
[applause]
        　　MSNBC is here. [Applause] They are a little overwhelmed. They’ve never seen
an audience this big before.[Laughter]
        　　Look, everyone is trying to keep up with this incredibly fast-changing
media landscape. For example, I got a lot of grief on cable news for promoting
Obama care to young people on “Between Two Ferns.” But that’s what young people
like to watch. And to be fair, I am not the first person on television between
two potted plants. [Laughter] [applause]
        　　Sometimes I do feel disrespected by you reporters. But that’s OK. Seattle
Seahawks’ corner back Richard Shermanis here tonight, and he gave me some great
tips on how to handle it. JakeTapper, don’t you ever talk about me like that! I
am the best president in the game! What do you think, Richard, was that good?
[Laughter] A little more feeling next time. [Laughter]
            
            

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        　　While we are talking sports, just last month, a wonderful story. An
American won the Boston Marathon for the first time in 30 years. [Applause]
Which was inspiring and only fair since a Kenyan has been president for the last
six. We have to even things out.
        　　We have some other athletes here tonight, including Olympic snowboarding
gold medalist Jamie Anderson is here.We are proud of her. Incredibly talented
young lady. Michelle and I watch the Olympics, we cannot believe what these
folks do. Death-defying feats. We haven’t seen somebody pull a 180 that fast
since Rand Paul disinvitied that disgruntled rancher from this dinner.
[laughter]
        　　As a general rule, things don’t end well if the sentence starts, “Let me
tell you something I know about the negro.” You don’t really need to hear the
rest of it. [Laughter] Just a tip for you. Don’ t start your sentence that way.
[Laughter]
        　　Speaking of Rand Paul, —[laughter] Colorado legalized marijuana this year.
An interesting social experiment.I do hope it does not lead to a bunch of
paranoid people who think the federal government is out to get them and
listening to their phone calls. [Laughter]That would be a problem.
[Laughter]
        　　And speaking of conservative heroes, the Koch brothers bought a table here
tonight. But they used a shadow yright-wing organization as a front. Hello, Fox
News. [Laughter] [applause] I’mjust kidding. Let’s face it, Fox, you’ l miss me
when I’ m gone. [Laughter] Itwill be harder to convince the American people that
Hillary was born in Kenya.[Laughter] [applause]
        　　A lot of us really are concerned about the way that money is influencing
our politics. I remember when a superpack with me was buying Marlboro 100s
instead of regulars. [Laughter] Of course, now that it is 2014, Washington is
obsessed on the midterms. Folks are saying that with my sagging poll numbers, my
fellow democrats don’t really want me campaigning with them. I don’t think that
is true, although I did notice the other day that Sasha needed a speaker at
career day and she invited BillClinton. [Laughter] I was a little hurt by
that.
        　　Both sides are doing whatever it takes to win. The ruthless game.
Republicans — this is a true story.Republicans actually brought in a group
consultant to teach their candidateshow to speak to women. This is true. I don’t
know if it’ll work for women, butI understand America’s teenage boys are signing
up to run for the Senate indroves. [Laughter] [applause]
        　　Anyway, while you guys focus on the horse race, I’m going to do what I do.
I will be focused on everyday Americans. Just yesterday I read a heartbreaking
letter. I get letters from folks around the country every day. I get 10 that I
read. This one got me. AVirginia man who’s been stuck in the same part-time job
for years. No respectfrom his boss. There was no chance to get ahead. I really
wish Eric Cantor would stop writing me. You can just pick up the phone, Eric.
[Laughter][applause]
        　　I am feeling sorry, believe itand not, for the Speaker of the House. These
days, the House Republicans give John Boehner a harder time than they give me.
Which means orange really is the new black. [Laughter] [applause]
        　　But I have not given up the idea of working with Congress. In fact, two
weeks ago, Senator Ted Cruz and I, wegot a bill done together and I have to say
the signing ceremony was something special. We got a picture of it I think.
[Laughter]
        　　Look, I know. Washington seems more dysfunctional than ever. Gridlock has
gotten so bad in this town, you haveto wonder what did we do to piss off Chris
Christie so bad? [Laughter]
        　　One issue, for example, wehaven’t been able to agree on is unemployment
insurance. Republicans continue to refuse to extend it. You know what, I am
beginning to think they have a point. If you don’t want to get paid while not
working, you should have to runfor Congress just like everybody else. [Laughter]
[applause]
        　　There is one thing that keepsRepublicans busy. They have tried more than 50
times to repeal Obamacare.Despite that, 8 million people signed up for
healthcare in the first open enrollment. [Applause] Which does lead one to ask,
how well does Obamacare haveto work before you don’t want to repeal it? What if
everyone’s cholesteroldrops to 120? What if your yearly checkup came with
tickets to a Clippers’game? Not the old Donald Sterling Clippers, the new Oprah
Clippers. What if itgave Mitch McConnell a pulse? What is it going to take?
            
            

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        　　Anyway, this year I have promised to use more executive actions to get
things done without Congress. My criticscall this the imperial presidency. Truth
is I just show up every day at my office and do my job. We have a picture of
this, I think? [Laughter] [applause]
        　　You would think they wouldappreciate a more assertive approach, considering
that the new conservativedarling is non other than Vladimir Putin. Last year,
Pat Buchanan said Putin’sheaded straight for the Nobel Peace Prize. He said
this. Now I know it soundscrazy but to be fair they give those to just about
anybody these days. It couldhappen. [Laughter] [applause]
        　　But it’s not just Pat, RudyGiuliani said, “Put in is what you would call a
leader. Mike Huckabee and ShawnHannity keep talking about his bare chest, which
is kind of weird. [Laughter][applause] Look it up. They talk about it a lot.
[Laughter]
        　　It is strange to think that Ihave just two and a half years left in this
office. Everywhere I look there are reminders that I only hold this job
temporarily. [Laughter] But, it is a longtime between now and 2016. And anything
can happen. You may have heard theother day that Hillary had to dodge a flying
shoe at a press conference.[Laughter]
        　　I love that picture.
        　　Regardless of what happens, I’verun my last campaign. I’m beginning to
think about my legacy. Some of you know that Mayor Rahm Emanuel recently
announced that he’s naming a high school afterme in Chicago. I was even more
flattered to hear that Rick Perry, who is here tonight, is doing the same thing
in Texas. Take a look. [Laughter] Thank you,Rick. It means a lot to me.
        　　I intend to enjoy all the freetime that I will have. George W. Bush took up
painting after he left office. Itinspired me to take up own artistic side. I am
sure we have a shot of this.Maybe not. The joke does not work without the slide.
[Laughter] Oh well. Assumethat it was funny. [Laughter] Does this happen to you
Joel? It does, OK.
        　　On a serious note, tonightreminds us that we are lucky to live in a country
where reporters can give ahead of state a hard time on a daily basis. And once a
year give him or her thechance at least to return the favor. We also know that
not every journalist orphotographer or crew member is so fortunate. Even as we
celebrate the freepress tonight, our thoughts are with those in places around
the globe likeUkraine and Afghanistan and Syria and Egypt. People who risk
everything. Insome cases even give their lives to report the news. And what
tonight alsoreminds us is that the fight for full and fair access goes beyond
the chance toask a question.
        　　As Steve mentioned, decades agoan African-American who wanted to cover his
or her president might be barred from journalism school. Burdened by Jim Crow.
And once in Washington banned from press conferences. After years of effort,
black editors and publishers began meeting with FDR’s press secretary, Steve
Irving. They met with the president himself, who declared that a black reporter
would get acredential. Even when Harry McAlpin made history as the first
African-Americanto attend a presidential news conference, he was not always
welcomed by the other reporters. But he was welcomed by the president, who told
him, “I’m glad to see you McAlpin.” I’m very happy to have you here.” Now that
sentiment mighthave worn off once Harry asked him a question or two. And Harry’s
battlescontinued, but he made history. We are so proud of Sherman and his family
forbeing here tonight and the White House Correspondents Association for
creatingthe scholarship in Harry’s name. [Applause] For over 100 years, even as
theWhite House Correspondents Association has told the story of
America’sprogress, you’ve lived it too. Gradually allowing equal access to
women,minorities, gays and Smericans with disabilities. Yes, radio and
television andInternet reporters as well. Through it all you’ve helped make sure
that even associeties change, our fundamental commitment to the interaction
between thosewho govern and those who ask questions doesn’t change. And as Jay
will attest,it’s a legacy that you carry on enthusiastically every single day.
Because thisis the 100th anniversary of the Correspondents Association, I
actually recordedan additional brief video thanking you for all your hard work.
Can we run thevideo?
        　　What is going on? I was told this would work. Does anybody know how to fix
this? Thank you. [Laughter] Do youhave it?
        　　Kathleen Sebelius: I got this. Isee it all the time. There. That should
work.
        　　Congratulations to the WhiteHouse Correspondents. Here is to 100 more
years.
        　　Thank you very much, everybody..Bless you. [Applause] [laughter] [laughter]
[applause]
       
                　　On May 3rd, the President made his way to the Washington Hilton for the
annual White House Correspondents' Dinner. It marked the sixth time President
Obama has addressed the organization of journalists who cover the White
House.
       
            
            

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                　　5月3日，奥巴马总统在华盛顿希尔顿酒店出席了一年一度的白宫记者协会晚宴，这是奥巴马第六次出席白宫记者协会晚宴。
       
       
                　　In keeping with the dinner's tradition, the President assumed the role of
Comedian-in-Chief during his remarks, poking fun at himself as well as a number
of other politicians and news organizations. He joked about everything from the
roll-out of HealthCare.gov — saying that his slogan changed from "Yes We Can" to
"Control-Alt-Delete" — to how Fox News will cope with the end of his
presidency.
       
       
                　　和以往的惯例一样，奥巴马在演讲中仍表现得像个“段子王”，拿自己和许多其他政客及组织开涮。他开了很多玩笑：医保网站瘫痪，进而把美国人民的口号“Yes
We Can”改为“Control-Alt-Delete”;福克斯新闻在自己总统任期结束后怎么报道;等等。
       
       
                　　Ending his speech on a more serious note, the President also remarked on
how fortunate we are to live in a country with free press.
       
       
                　　奥巴马演讲结束时语气稍显严肃，他说，美国人民能生活在如此新闻自由的国度里是多么幸运。
       
       
                　　奥巴马在白宫记者协会晚宴的演讲幽默犀利，时不时引得全场大笑。然而其中的有些“梗”是不是让你一头雾水呢?跟着小编一起看看梗背后的故事吧：
       
       
                　　1、《蕨间访谈》
       
       
                　　据外媒4月2日报道，曾获奥斯卡最佳男主角提名的布莱德利·库珀参与安排了奥巴马做客美国网络视频节目《蕨间访谈》Between Two
Ferns，该访谈使美国政府医疗改革网站的访问量激增40%。
       
       
                　　2、美国医保网站瘫痪
       
       
                　　去年10月为落实改革措施，美国卫生部推出平价医保交易网站，上线后由于技术故障不断，屡屡瘫痪，大多数人难以完成注册，更难以进入申请环节，导致民众怨声不断。美国前卫生部部长Sebelius备受抨击。
       
       
                　　3、Koch兄弟
       
       
                　　美国石油大亨。大卫·科赫(David Koch)与查尔斯·科赫(Charles
Koch)兄弟总资产约有500亿美元(约合3151亿元人民币)，另外有300多位美国富人也承诺提供资金，他们共可以筹集1亿美元(约合6.3亿元人民币)“战争基金”阻止奥巴马连任。其中，查尔斯愿意拿出4000万美元(约合2.5亿元人民币)个人资产，大卫则提供2000万美元(约合1.3亿元人民币)。这1亿美元资金将被转给独立的共和党政治行动委员会。
       
       
                　　4、NSA窃听事件
       
       
                　　2013年6月5日，英国《卫报》的一则报道震惊了全体美国人，报道中有证据表明通讯巨头Verizon公司自愿向美国国家安全局提交该公司网络内所有通话纪录的数据库。
       
       
                　　5、超级政治行动委员会
       
       
                　　政治行动委员会(Political Action
Committee，简称PAC)是美国的一种由工会、工商界、贸易组织或独立的政治团体组织的，为竞选各级公职的候选人筹集政治资金的非党派的基金管理机构。
       
       
                　　6、埃里克·坎托尔
       
       
                　　埃里克·坎托是众议院少数派首席副党鞭，一直被视为麦凯恩竞选副手人选之一。犹太裔的坎托也是最亲以色列的国会议员之一。现为美国国会众议院多数党领袖。
       
       
                　　7、约翰·博纳
       
       
                　　1990年，博纳首次当选为共和党众议员，此后经过多年历练，终在2006年成为共和党众议院领袖，开始率领党内同僚谋求击败民主党，重夺众议院控制权。博纳此前因为失败的日光浴，未将自己的肤色晒成古铜色，反而变成了橘色而曾被媒体打趣。奥巴马演讲中讽刺博纳超越自己成为了靶子。
       
       
                　　8、“桥梁门”事件
       
       
                　　新泽西州州长克里斯·克里斯蒂在1月份被爆出其亲信为报复政敌而封锁从索克里奇辖区通向乔治华盛顿大桥三条车道，导致交通严重拥堵，造成恶劣影响。
       
       
                　　9、内华达农场主武装对抗政府
       
       
                　　来自Bunkerville的农场主邦迪(Cliven
Bundy)，长期以来一直蔑视法庭要他将他放牧的牛从联邦土地上撤走的命令。邦迪与联邦政府的对抗导致今年4月双方的摊牌，联邦土地管理局派遣直升飞机及骑警扣押了邦迪的牛，但支持邦迪的武装民兵蜂拥而至，使得当局出于安全考量而撤退。
       
       
                　　10、希拉里演讲遭扔鞋
       
       
                　　向政治人物扔鞋是全世界多个地方发生的抗议方式。前国务卿希拉里4月10日在拉斯维加斯某酒店发表演说时，一名女子向希拉里投掷了一只鞋。但希拉里躲开了飞来的鞋子，机智地开玩笑说：“天哪，我不知道固体废物管理会有如此大的争议。”然后继续演讲。