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发表于 2018-4-28 15:19:50
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❷ 失败 (failure)
你是否观察过自己在遭遇失败时的心理反应?
是不是总有个小人在你脑袋里说,“果然不行吧,就知道你干不好这件事!”
If your mind tries to convince you you're incapable of something, and you
believe it, you'll begin to feel helpless and you'll stop trying too soon, or
you won't even try at all. And then you'll be even more convinced you can't
succeed.
如果你的脑袋告诉你,你肯定做不成一件事,而你相信了的话, 你就会感到无助,不久就放弃,
甚至一点努力都不再付出。然后你就更加确信你干不成这件事。
你看,这就是为什么那么多人都无法充分发挥他们的潜能。
失败后心灰意冷也许是很自然的事情,但你一定要努力把自己从没完没了的自我否定中拯救出来。
You cannot allow yourself to become convinced you can't succeed. You have
to fight feelings of helplessness. You have to gain control over the situation.
And you have to break this kind of negative cycle before it begins.
你不能就这样相信自己将一事无成,你要战胜这种无助的情绪,必须控制住状况,在负面循环开始前就即时打破它。
❸ 翻不了篇 (rumination)
最常见又最不健康的习惯之一就是“rumination”,也就是反刍,反复咀嚼、回忆你情感受到伤害的过程。
反复回味不愉快的事很容易变成习惯,这样就麻烦了:
By spending so much time focused on upsetting and negative thoughts, you
are actually putting yourself at significant risk for developing clinical
depression, alcoholism, eating disorders, and even cardiovascular disease.
当你花过多的时间思考不愉快和负面的事情,你实际上把自己置于一个非常危险的境地,这可能诱发抑郁症、酗酒、饮食失调, 甚至心血管疾病。
❹ 自卑 (low self-esteem)
当一个女生相亲失败时,她常常会很残酷地否定自己:
"Well, what do you expect? You have big hips, you have nothing interesting
to say. Why would a handsome, successful man like that ever go out with a loser
like you?"
你还指望能有什么别的结果?你腰这么粗,人又无趣。哪个成功的帅哥会想跟你这样的loser处对象呢?
当自尊心已经受到伤害时,我们还喜欢往伤口上撒盐。
研究表明,自尊心越低的人,面对压力和挫折越没有抵抗力,更难从负面情绪中恢复过来。
怎样打败负能量
那么,如果你陷入以上情绪,该怎么办呢?请看如下支招:
➤ Tip 1 寻求专业帮助
We'll go to the doctor when we feel a nagging pain. So why don’t we see a
health professional when we feel emotional pain: guilt, loss, loneliness?
当我们被身体上的疼痛折磨和纠缠的时候,通常会去看医生。但是为什么当你在情感上受伤,譬如被内疚、迷茫和孤单等情绪侵扰时,不寻求专业人士的帮助呢?
nagging 唠叨的,挑剔的,使人不得安宁的
Too many of us deal with common psychological-health issues on our own. But
we don’t have to.
我们中的很多人都选择依靠自己来解决这些常见的心理健康问题。但实际上,我们并不一定要自己扛着。
➤ Tip 2 保护自己的自尊心
When you get rejected, the first thing you should be doing is to revive
your self-esteem. When you're in emotional pain, treat yourself with the same
compassion you would expect from a truly good friend.
如果你被拒绝了,首要的事情是应该重新激活你的自尊心。当你在经历被拒绝的感情痛苦时,可以选择像一个真正的好朋友那样同情你自己。
self-esteem 自尊
compassion 同情
➤ Tip 3 分散注意力
研究表明, 哪怕只是分心短短两分钟(a two-minute distraction)都足以打破那一刻的负面心情。
Guy Winch分享他自己的经验:
Each time I had a worrying, upsetting, negative thought, I forced myself to
concentrate on something else until the urge passed. And within one week, my
whole outlook changed and became more positive and more hopeful.
每次当我担心、烦恼,或沉浸在负面情绪里时, 我就强迫自己专注于其他的事情,直到那种感觉过去。 然后一周里,
我的视角就全变了,变得更积极,更充满希望。
distraction 分散
outlook 展望,观点,景色
看完这篇演讲,你是不是有所启发?从今天起,认真对待自己的心理健康吧。
我们不仅要养生,还要好好地养心哦。 |
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