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Help the poor
Everytime i see poverty life when i turn over the book.i always feel
unwell. Believing everybody have the seem fells.so,meybe we will think what we
can do for the poor.that being so,mang people make a choice to be volunteers.It
is cheering.
One day,i wached a poor child in newspapers.His sight like a knife sharped
painmy heart.i have never forgoten that.idesperated do something for him.so,i
thought of being a high-degree doctor to help him,but a friend of mine said that
the higher achieviment the less the heart of compassion.i think it
carefully,that word,is right and many people will be dusted the eyes by
benefits.
Sometimes i can not helpasking myself why you not do something for the
poor,what you do something for the poor.But i really do not know.who can help
me,WHO CAN HELP THE POOR.
Every time i see poverty life when i turn over the book.i always feel
unwell(根据作者的意思这句话最好改为Every time I see the life of the poor from books, I always
feel unhappy.) Believing everybody have the seem fells(I believe everybody has
the same feeling).so,meybe(maybe) we will think what we can do for the poor.that
being so(改为so),mang(many) people make a choice to be volunteers.It is
cheering.
One day,i wached(watched) a poor child in newspapers.His sight (加is)like a
knife sharped pain(sharpening)my heart.i have never forgoten(forgotten) that.i
desperated(decided to) do something for him.so,i thought of being a high-degree
doctor to help him,but a friend of mine said that the higher achieviment the
less the heart of compassion.i think it (over)carefully,(and)that word,is right
and many people will be dusted the eyes(改用seduced) by benefits.
Sometimes i can not help asking myself why you (加do) not do something for
the poor,what you do something (去掉something)for the poor.But i really do not
know.who can help me,WHO CAN HELP THE POOR.
评语
作者表达对穷人的关心和担心，总体意思写的很好，句子的高度不错，只是开头的几句表的混乱，总的来说写的不错，建议以后注意检查，最好在WORD上写，这样基本的错误可以检查出来。 |
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发表于 2016-7-10 16:15:09