|
213c6b20e27e4a0dbc43eacc65e03f1d57.jpg
Worry — it's what keeps many lying awake at night and is what annoyingly gnaws away at people as they try to work, enjoy life, and relax. Unrelenting anxiety and fear can be debilitating and drain you of energy — emotional and physical.忧虑让很多人在夜晚失眠，在人们想要工作、享受生活和放松的时候进行恼人地破坏。不屈不挠的焦虑和恐惧会让你身心衰竭。
For many people worrying has become habit and automatic. And like other habits and behaviors, it can be changed. People who worry a lot aren't able to enjoy themselves.对很多人来说，忧虑已经成了一种无意识的习惯。像其他习惯和行为一样，它可以被改变。如果人们过度忧虑，就不能享受生活。
They aren't able to focus on goals and pleasure and life for them often feels draining and lacks pleasure. Simply put: they aren't happy.他们不能专注于目标、乐趣和生活，因为他们经常感到倦怠、缺少乐趣。简单来说：他们不快乐。
Here's how to worry less and live more:下面告诉你如何减少忧虑更长寿：
1. Think about worrying differently1. 换个角度看待忧虑
What purpose does worry serve? Does it make problems go away? Prevent them from happening? Or make them worse? If you answer these questions you'll probably realize that worrying isn't your friend — it's merely a symptom.忧虑能带来什么？它能解决问题吗？能阻止问题发生吗？还是让它们变得更糟？如果回答了这些问题，你大概会意识到忧虑不是你的朋友，它只不过是一个症状。
2. Allow yourself time to worry2. 给自己时间去忧虑
Many chronic worriers feel they have no control over it. They tell themselves things such as "just don't worry" or "don't think about it". This thought stopping approach rarely works. The reason — it's a negative command and people simply don't process these well. It forces you to think about the very thing you're trying to avoid.许多慢性忧虑者都感觉自己无法控制忧虑。他们告诉自己“别担心”或“别想它”。但这种阻止接近的方法却很少奏效。因为这是个消极的指令，人们往往处理不好。它迫使你去想那些你尽力避免的事。
For example, "I don't want you to think about a zebra with pink and blue stripes." In order to not think about such a zebra, you need to first imagine what one looks like. So, if I tell you, "don't worry about X" you need to actually think about X in order not to think about it.举个例子，“我想让你不去想一头粉蓝条纹的斑马。”为了不去想这样一头斑马，你需要首先想想它是什么样。所以，如果我告诉你，“别去担心X”，为了不去想它你的确需要先想到X。
That said, I want you to designate time to worry. Allow yourself 15 minutes a day to let it rip. Choose a time when you're usually most relaxed, but not near bedtime. Let your thoughts gush. Heck, if you want to, worry more intensely during this period than you normally do.这就是说，我想让你分一些时间去忧虑。每天15分钟让自己顺其自然。选择一个你最放松的时间，但别是睡前，让你的思绪喷涌。如果你愿意，就在这段时间忧虑的更强烈一些。
Paradoxically this exercise will give you control over something you otherwise feel you have no control over. It works for countless patients of mine and it will work for you, too.矛盾的是，这个练习会让你掌控一些你觉得无法掌控的事。它对于我的许多病人都有效，很可能对你也有效。
3. Control3. 控制
Ask yourself: do I have control over the issue? So many of the things people worry about they have absolutely no control over yet it dominates their thinking. For example, the weather. We can't control it but we can certainly prepare for it.问问自己：我能控制这个问题吗？人们所担心的许多问题都没有得到控制，反而掌控了人们的思想。比如，天气。我们无法控制，但我们可以提前准备。
4. Fact or fiction?4. 真实还是虚构？
On a piece of paper make four columns. On the far left write the worry you're having. In the next column identify whether it is fact or fiction and if there's any real evidence to support your belief. Then write an alternative way of thinking and finally, think about whether the original thought was helpful or not. So here's an example of someone who has tickets for a Broadway show on Friday and is worried she may miss it if she gets sick:把一张纸分成四列。在最左边写上你现有的忧虑。在旁边一列确定它是真实的还是虚构的，是否有任何真实的依据来支持你的想法。然后写下一种可替代的方式，最后想想最初的想法是否有帮助。举个例子，某人有一张周五百老汇演出的门票，但她担心自己可能因为生病而错过：
1. I'm worried I'll get sick and have to miss the show on Friday. 2. I'm not sick now so the thought is unwarranted and fiction. 3. I'll make sure I take care of myself and get proper rest so I am healthy for my show. 4. I didn't get sick and I did in fact make it to the show. My worries were needless and didn't affect my health.1. 我担心自己会因为生病而错过周五的演出。2. 我现在没有生病，所以这个想法是没有根据的，是虚构的。3. 我会确保照顾好自己，得到适当的休息，健康的去看演出。4. 我没有生病，事实上我参加了这次演出。我的担心是没有必要的，不会影响我的健康。
5. Take action5. 采取行动
There's a big difference between worrying and problem solving. The former is about repeating thoughts that are unhelpful and leads to more stress and worry and gets in the way of actually enjoying life and being productive. The latter is focused on getting out of the current way of thinking and making life better.担忧和解决问题之间有非常大的区别。前者是重复无益的想法，并且带来更多的压力和担忧，阻碍你真正享受生活和变得高效。后者的重点是脱离当前道路，让生活变得更好。
Put on your problem-solver hat and think about solutions. How might you advise a friend who has a similar concern? What steps would you take to ensure a solution? Take action now.带上解决问题的帽子，思考解决办法。你会如何建议一个有类似担忧的朋友？你会采取什么步骤来解决问题？现在就采取行动吧。
6. Make friends with uncertainty6. 与不确定交朋友
Feel okay about not knowing exactly how things will turn out. Accept the unpredictability of life. Can you imagine how dull life would be if we knew everything that would happen? Think of all that is right with life and embrace ambiguity.不知道事情将会如何发展，这是很正常的。接受生活的不可预见性。你能想象如果我们在事情发生之前就知道一切，生活会有多无趣吗？想想生活中正常的一切，并且拥抱不确定性吧。
So next time you find yourself overwhelmed with worry, take a deep breath and know that it's normal and by changing just a few ways that you think you can change it.所以下一次你发现自己被忧虑淹没，深呼吸，告诉自己这是很正常的，相信自己可以通过稍作改变来扭转情况。 | 
发表于 2017-10-12 21:57:27