商务英语写作指导：改写一篇备忘录

英语自学网

　　Look at the memo below and decide how it can be improved; Rewrite it in
your own words; When you've done this, compare your rewritten memo with the
model in next piece.
        　　MEMORANDUM
        　　To: All members of staff, Northern Branch.
        　　From: K.L.J.
        　　Date: 5 December 20--
        　　As you know, one of the reason for the introduction of PCs in Northern
Branch was to provide us with feeback before we decide whether to install PCs in
other departments. The Board has asked me to submit a report on your experiences
by the end of this week. I talked to some of you informally about this last
month. During my brief visit I noticed a junior member of staff playing some
kind of computer game in the lunch hour, and a senior manager told me that he
used his for writing letters - a job for a secretary, surely? So that I can
compile a full report, I would like everyone to let me know what thay personally
use the PC for, what software they use and how long per day they spend actually
using it. It would also be useful to find out how their PC has not come up to
expertations, and any unanticipated uses they have found for their PC, so that
others can benefit from your experience.
        　　This is the model for the rewritten memo:
        　　MEMORANDUM
        　　To: All member of staff, Northern Branch
        　　From: K.L.J.
        　　Date: 5 December 20--
        　　Subject: PERSONAL COMPUTERS
        　　The board urgently requires feeback on our experience with PCs in Northern
Branch. I need to know, for my report:
        　　1. What you personally use your PC for and your reasons for doing this. If
you are doing work that was formally done by other staff, please justify
this.
        　　2. What software you use. Please name the programs.
        　　3. How many hours per day you spend actually using it.
        　　4. How your PC has not come up to your expectations.
        　　5. What unanticipated uses you have found for your PC, that others may want
to share.
        　　Please FAX this information directly to me by 5p.m. on WEDNESDAY 7
December.
        　　If you have any queries, please contact my assistant, Jane Simmonds, who
will be visiting you on Tuesday, 6 December. Thank you for your help.