美国晚间脱口秀笑话一周精选（5月29日）

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"On his radio show yesterday, Rush Limbaugh called Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor a 'reverse racist.' I got to hand it to Limbaugh. That guy is a reverse genius." --Jimmy Fallon
在昨天的之声秀上，拉什·林博把最高法院法官候选人索尼娅·索托马约尔称作“逆向种族主义者”，我得把这句话告诉林博，那家伙是一个逆向天才。——吉米·法伦
关于reverse racist：美国种族歧视由来已久，经过长期的斗争之后，现在表面上算是取得了种族平等，不过有白人认为美国政府矫枉过正，现在对黑人比对白人好，他们就把这种情况叫reverse racist。
"Well, the big story is the Supreme Court. President Obama has found his nominee. She is a Federal appeals judge. Sonia Sotomayor, I think her name is. A Latino woman, how about that? So, you know what that means. Ruth Bader Ginsburg no longer the hot chick on the court." --Jay Leno
呃，最高法院有条大新闻。奥巴马总统找到了他的候选人。她是一名联邦上诉法院的法官，索尼娅·索托马约尔，我想她是叫这个名字。一位拉丁美裔的女性，这是什么情况呢？你们知道这意味着什么，露丝·金丝伯格不再是法庭上最惹火的妞了。——杰·雷诺
露丝·金丝伯格是美国九位最高法院法官之一。现年76岁，现在是美国最高法院唯一一名女性大法官。
"Judge Sotomayor said she seemed overwhelmed today, and she said it really won't sink in until she hears Rush Limbaugh say he hopes she fails." --Jay Leno
索托马约尔法官说她今天似乎受到了打击，她说知道她听说拉什·林博说希望她失败她才充分认识到这个问题。——杰·雷诺
"Actually, the Republicans were a little disappointed. When they heard Obama said he might appoint a minority, they went, 'Oh, great, a Republican!'" --Jay Leno
事实上，共和党人有点小失望，他们听到奥巴马会任命一个少数派的时候，他们都想“哦，太棒了，共和党人！”——杰·雷诺
"History was made today when President Obama nominated Judge Sonia Sotomayor as the first female Hispanic justice to serve in the U.S. Supreme court. Obama said this should help keep the court from leaning too far to the white." --Jimmy Fallon
今天，创造历史的一刻就是奥巴马总统提名法官索尼娅·索托马约尔成为第一位女性西班牙裔大法官的时候。奥巴马说这有助于避免最高法院在偏向白人的问题上越走越远。——吉米·法伦
"Let me tell you something. These Supreme Court nominees have it a lot tougher being interviewed by President Obama because he used to be a constitutional law professor. So he knows what questions to ask. See, when Bill Clinton had female nominees, he just had the one question: 'Let's see how you look under that robe.'' --Jay Leno
我跟你们说哦，这些大法官候选人和奥巴马总统面谈的时候可能有点不太好过。因为奥巴马之前做过宪法学教授。所以他知道要问什么问题，看吧，克林顿提名女候选人那会儿，他只有一个问题：“咱们看看你不穿长袍的时候什么样吧。”——杰·雷诺
我们从脱口秀主持人的大谈特谈就能看出，上周奥巴马提名了最高法院法官候选人的问题是美国人关注的焦点。
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"There are some people who are saying that maybe Dick Cheney is setting himself up to actually run for president. You know, it makes sense. Republicans are looking for fresh blood, and Cheney just had some yesterday." --Bill Maher
有人说迪克·切尼可能正在筹划自己竞选总统的事儿，你别说，这还真有道理。共和党人正在寻求新鲜血液，切尼昨天正好有点。——比尔·马歇
"The other day George Bush gave a speech at a graduating high school class. He told the kids it's interesting the way life turns out, and now he finds himself walking the dog and picking up poop. Finally, something he can actually find. He couldn't find Osama, he couldn't find the weapons of mass destruction. If only we'd be attacked by dog s**t, we'd be OK. … Oh, poor George Bush, picking up after some unthinking creature's mess. Well, now he knows how Obama feels." --Bill Maher
前些日子，乔治·布什给一个高中毕业班做了一场演讲。他告诉孩子们说人的一生是很有趣的，现在他发现他自己溜着狗，捡捡狗的粪便。最终，他可以找到什么东西了。他没能找到本·拉登，他没能找到大规模杀伤性武器。如果我们只会被狗狗的粪便攻击，这倒无所谓了。哦，可怜的乔治·布什，处理着一些没有脑子的生物留下的烂摊子，嗯，现在他知道奥巴马是什么感受了。——比尔·马歇
"Hey, last night at a fundraiser in Beverly Hills, people paid $30,000 to attend a dinner and a discussion with President Barack Obama. The subject of the discussion? The struggling economy ... Let me tell you something, if you spend $30,000 on dinner, aren't you legally a Republican at this point?" --Jay Leno
嘿，昨天晚上比弗利山庄有一场募捐晚宴，人们花了3万美金和奥巴马总统一起出席一场晚宴和一个讨论会。讨论的主题？我们苦苦挣扎的经济……我跟你们说哦，你要是花了三万块钱就为了个晚宴，你这一刻不就变成共和党人了么？——杰·雷诺
"North Korea tested another nuclear bomb. The fear is that North Korea will sell this nuclear weapon to some unstable, volatile world leader, you know, like Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno
朝鲜测试了另一颗核弹。值得担心的是朝鲜可能会把这种核武器卖给一些不稳定的、善变的世界领导人，比如迪克·切尼这样的。——杰·雷诺
"Before she left for China, reporters repeatedly questioned House Speaker Nancy Pelosi about her claim the CIA lied to her. But Pelosi remained tight-lipped. She also remained tight-foreheaded and tight-eyelided." --Jay Leno
在去中国之前，记者们一直追问白宫发言人南希·佩洛斯关于她说中情局对她说谎的事情。但是佩洛斯嘴巴一直很紧。她还有很紧的前额和很紧的眼睑。——杰·雷诺
"The National Archives lost a hard drive with massive amounts of valuable data from the Clinton Administration. It contained Bill Clinton's to-do list, 500 people long." --Jimmy Fallon
国家档案馆丢了一块重要的硬盘，里面有大量克林顿政府时期的数据。里面有克林顿的to-do列表，有500个人那么长。——吉米·法伦
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