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英语幽默语录

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发表于 2016-7-10 00:05:23 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
  幽默的方法很多,一句话的幽默,你能辨析出来么?
          1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people
die of natural causes。
          自从我听说“人还是死于天然原因者居多”之后,我就再也不敢拼命吃天然食品了。
          2.Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing
aweed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground
easily, it is a valuable plant。
          园艺定律:区分益草和害草的办法是,拔出来试试——如果很容易拔掉,就证明它是益草。
          3. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement。
          如果放在家里的东西找不回来,最容易的办法就是去买个新的回来。
          4. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to?
          你是否注意到,这年头,自从有了数码摄录机,就再也没人象以前那样老是说不明飞行物的事情了。(幽默的“原因”请见下方的读者评论)
          5. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?
          不慎的时候只要一根火柴就足以引发森林大火,而想点燃一堆篝火却需要整整一盒火柴,真纳闷。
          6.Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
          不知道是谁第一个看见母牛,就敢说:“我要使劲挤一挤那两排倒吊着的玩意儿,流出来的是啥俺就喝啥”?
          7. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta its butt."
          不知道是谁第一个看见母鸡,就敢说:“看见那只鸡没有?我就等着吃从它屁股里面滚出来的东西。”
          8. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
          胶水为啥就不会粘在胶水瓶里面啊?
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