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What is off limits to criticize women about?
男人不能对女人的哪些方面评头论足?如果你要说一个女生变胖了，那一定会得罪她。这还不算最糟糕的。有一次，我在称赞一个女孩衣服漂亮之后，接着说了句“看起来没花太多钱”，本来想夸她，结果把她弄哭了。看来想讨好女人，这学问可大着呢。
Some work friends and I were recently discussing things that men can not
criticize their girlfriends about. It was astounding how incorrect us guys were
when trying to lay out our "rights" in terms of constructive criticism. The
women in the office were appalled at what we thought we were allowed to talk
about. If I could figure out what I am allowed to criticize and what I should
stay away from, I'd avoid arguments and do a better job of hitting on girls.
I'm guilty of saying things to women that only their best girlfriends, gay
male friends, and moms/sisters are allowed to say. I put together a list
below:
Weight
There is no friendly way for a guy to tell a girl that she's put on weight.
Even if there was a friendly way, most of the women I've talked to about it said
they would not want to hear it from a guy. It seems obvious, but not all guys
know this. We polled some of the guys in our office, and the prevailing male
opinion was as long as she's your girlfriend, or you've known each other for a
while, then you can make weight loss suggestions. I think the best policy is
silence. If I'm desperate to make a suggestion, maybe I tell one of her
girlfriends to do it on my behalf.
Outfit
I think I'm only allowed to say someone generally looks nice, or I like her
shirt or whatever. Getting too detailed or negative gets me in trouble. In fact,
I attempted to "add on" to a compliment I gave a girl once. I told her she
looked great, because she had a new outfit on. Now, remembering those times I
saw my sisters or friends bark back "thanks, and just $30 from Target," I tried
to double up on my compliment: "and it looks like you didn't pay much money
either." She ended up crying. I've been told by women that they dress more to
impress other women anyway, and not guys. Basically, I need to stick to "you
look great" and leave it there. And I should probably avoid saying I don't like
something a girl is wearing. That can only lead to no good.
Friends/Family
We've all dated people with annoying friends. But, people consider their
friends as extensions of themselves so if you criticize friends, you're
criticizing your significant other indirectly. My older sister has a good system
of putting the word "that" in front of any of her husband's friends that annoy
her. "Oh you're going with that Mike to the concert?" It's not an aggressive
attack, just a little poke. Family is the same rule, but you probably get in
even more trouble if you criticize the family of a significant other.
Driving
Every guy thinks he's a better driver than his girlfriend. I can learn a
lot from my little sister's boyfriend. One day, my sister was driving the two of
us to Baltimore for a weekend. My sister is a really bad driver. She doesn't
brake when she sees brake lights ahead until she absolutely has to. This leads
to passenger whiplash and nausea. During this trip I said: "you know, you can
brake earlier- that way you're not slamming on the brakes at the last minute and
making us all sick." She said: "do I do that?" I turned around to her boyfriend
for confirmation and he simply said: "no comment". My sister's boyfriend loves
me because I am allowed to verbalize all the criticisms that he's thinking.
I like the "no comment" policy. But I can't stand not to give my opinion to
women, even when it's bad. I want to learn the things I should hold off from
criticizing about women. Do you agree with the items above? What do you hate
being criticized about by guys? |
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发表于 2016-7-10 00:02:21