英文吐槽60句 深度幽默你来找！

英语自学网

　　I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
        　　I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
        　　They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking,
intelligent, and cultured.
        　　As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
        　　You're better at sex than anyone, now all you need is a partner.
        　　Go ahead, tell them everything you know.It'll only take 10 seconds.
        　　I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used
it.
        　　Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like
you?
        　　Are your parents siblings?
        　　Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
        　　Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at
birth?
        　　He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.
        　　How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
        　　I bet your mother has a loud bark!
        　　I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!
        　　If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents!
        　　If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would
be genocide!
        　　If your brain were chocolate, it wouldn't fill an M&M.
        　　She has a nice butter face. Everything looks nice, but her face.
        　　She's got a body that won't quit and a brain that won't start.
        　　He's so ugly, robbers give him their masks to wear.
        　　The twinkle in his eyes is actually the sun shining between his ears.
        　　They said you were a big asset. I told them they were off by two
letters.
        　　Too bad stupidity isn't painful.
        　　We do not complain about your shortcomings but about your long
stayings.
        　　We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note
saying, "Do not come home and all will be forgiven."
        　　What color is the sky in your world?
        　　When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an
umbrella.
        　　When I look into your eyes, I see the back of your head.
        　　When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral but I'll probably have to go
to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
            
            

ensix

        　　You look like a before picture.
        　　You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent.
        　　You are pretty as a picture and we'd love to hang you.
        　　You are so dumb you sit on the TV and watch the sofa.
        　　You should be the poster child for birth control.
        　　You're so ugly when you went to a haunted house they offered you a job.
        　　I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd
drink it.
        　　It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with
a hammer.
        　　If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
        　　Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
        　　It's kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a
sentence.
        　　If I were to slap you, it would be considered animal abuse!
        　　Shock me, say something intelligent.
        　　Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.
        　　You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the
window threw you back!
        　　You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
        　　I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative.
        　　If you had another brain, it would be lonely.
        　　Oh my God, look at you. Was anyone else hurt in the accident?
        　　If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.
        　　When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
        　　I look into your eyes and get the feeling nobody is driving.
        　　Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.
        　　Twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs, they're not a door.
        　　I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
        　　I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and SHIT a better argument than
that.
        　　Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.
        　　My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
        　　Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd one's for
you.
        　　God made coke, God made pepsi, God made me, oh so sexy, God made rivers,
God made lakes, God made you,... well we all make mistakes.