万能淘宝震惊英国人 各种稀奇古怪淘宝物品毁三观
Those wondering exactly where they can find human breast milk soap, a live
fox or a David 'Bickham' sex doll need look no further: China's answer to eBay
stocks them all.
那些好奇哪里可以买到人类母乳皂、一只活生生的狐狸，或是大卫“贝克汉姆”的仿真玩偶(请自行领会)再也不用找了!中国的eBay真是太!逆!天!了!
Taobao is a treasure-trove for those hunting for the unusual, eccentric or
just plain worrying, boasting around 760million products for sale at any one
time.
淘宝是为那些淘寻不同寻常的、稀奇古怪的，或是为自己买的东西甚为担忧的人准备的，时时刻刻在这里都能找到7亿6000万商品——真是一个地下宝库的说!
The David Bickham sex doll is no doubt one of the more popular on offer on
Tabao - although it has to be said, at 1.7 metres it is 13 centimetres shorter
than its real-life inspiration.
大卫“贝克汉姆”仿真玩偶(咳咳)毫无疑问是淘宝上的爆款——虽然必须提到一点，比起真人1.7米的身高，这货矮了13厘米。
All the same, at £52.10 the pink shirted Mr Bickham could certainly be seen
as a bargain - and the suppliers know it.
同时，52.1镑的粉T贝克汉姆先生完全是个便宜货——卖家心里跟明镜似的~
Should one be in need of a boyfriend, Taobao has a few available to
hire.
你们急需男友嘛?淘宝还可以出租哒。
Boyfriends for hire are increasingly popular in China, with demand rising
thanks to the phenomenon of the 'leftover woman': a phrase to describe any woman
who reaches her late-20s single.
租男友在中国现在超流行，因为“剩女”大行其道：剩女就是指那些快30了还没嫁出去的妹子。
Many fake boyfriends are used by women sick of parents nagging them about
not having other halves, so they take home a pretend one to appease them.
许多冒牌男友都是女性租了以后，回家应付父母催婚的，所以带假男友回家缓和一下父母的焦虑。
The fake boyfriend pictured below says he has a 'distinct look and a warm
personality'. Services start at £54.30.
假男友照片底下注释“相貌极佳，暖男一枚”。叫价54.3镑起。
Fake girlfriends are also available on the website - although these ones
are purely remote, like the WeChat Girlfriend.
虚拟女友也可以网租——虽然这些人就远多了，就像微信女友一样。
WeChat is China's most popular smartphone messaging app, and for £2.06 a
day the user will get at least 15 messages from their pretend princess.
微信是中国最受欢迎的手机短讯息app，每天2.06英镑，用户就能没收到虚拟女友至少15条短信。
这些都远远不够劲爆，逆天还有各种——
英媒：请问这些真的适合家养吗!!!还有这只蜘蛛确定不是染的吗!!!
英媒：听说这本教你30天灵魂出窍的书才22便士，尼玛简直物超所值啊!!!
英媒：成龙鼻子同款挤洗手液器~里面挤出的洗手液颜色可以自选……ill(额)……
英媒：传说中的维密秀同款翅膀……传说中的卖家秀和买家秀……节操呢?!!!
英国网友纷纷好评如潮……已经等不及全球直邮了——
@Morris Chaoser
How is it that have I just found out about this site! There are many items
on there that will complete my life!!
我特么才找到这个网站!!!上面可以买的东西让我整个人生都完整了啊啊啊啊!!!
@the speaking clock
Well this website is going to keep me entertained tonight.
呵呵这个网站能让我乐一整晚!
@Traycee
A fart in a bottle wtf lol!
(还能买到)一瓶屁!!!什么鬼哈哈哈哈~
PS：I bought one of these and was highly disappointed. Smelled like
eggs.
追加：我买了一瓶，差评!闻起来像鸡蛋的说!!!
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