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雅思话题作文:老外雅思9分例文及点评

  雅思话题作文范文:老外雅思9分例文及点评
          下面这篇在2004年考过两次,内容比较难写,很多考生都构思不出内容,因此,我请我的美国朋友按照雅思作文的套路写了篇范文,大家可以学习一下里面的语言和内容。
          Unlike most countries, the police in the United Kingdom do not normally
carry guns. Some people think it leaves the citizens unprotected, while others
believe that this practice reduces the overall violence in society. Discuss both
views and use your own experience and evidence.
          Unlike most countries, the police in the United Kingdom do not normally
carry guns. Some people think it leaves citizens unprotected, while others
believe that this practi c e reduces the overall violence in society. Police
having guns however is an issue secondary to criminals having guns.
(45words)
          结构分析:2+1模式,最后一句为主题句,明确地表达了自己的观点。但是,前两句的问题很严重,即照抄了题目。(这可能是我和老外没有沟通好,在他所写的所有例文中都出现了类似的情况,大家千万不要学!!!)
          Because criminals usually have access to guns, police officers need them in
order to control crime. If police in the U.K. are able to go without guns and
not have crime getting completely out of control then they have already set a
fine example that other countries should follow. The fact that they are able to
do this is an indication of their ability to control the flow of guns to the
general populace and this makes citizens safer than anything else. To a
civilian, taking guns away from criminals is more important than giving them to
police. (98words)
          For places that are not able to, or are unwilling to control this
availability of guns to criminals, police have no choice. Countries with weak or
ineffective gun laws, or countries bordering such countries, like Mexico which
has strong gun laws, but virtually no way to prevent them from being smuggled
over the border from the U.S., need a police force that is not only armed, but
is armed better than the criminals. This ‘domestic arms race’ is the fate of any
country that does not realize that civilians have no need of being armed and
should have no access to weapons whatsoever.(103words)
          The root of the problem is embarrassingly corrupt governments and
ineffective half-measures taken to control the circulation of guns, which allows
criminals to easily come into possession of guns. Nations around the world
should hope to someday reach the point where their police force can afford not
to carry guns and still be effective. (54words)
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