美国晚间脱口秀笑话一周精选（6月5日）
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to 'The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien.' Thank you. Thank you! I have to admit, I think I've timed this moment perfectly. Think about it. I'm on a last place network, I moved to a state that's bankrupt, and 'The Tonight Show'' is sponsored by General Motors." --Conan O'Brien女士们，先生们，欢迎收看《柯南·奥布莱恩今晚秀》，谢谢大家，谢谢大家，我不得不承认，我觉得我安排的这个时间太完美了。想想啊，我在一家排名垫底的电视台，我搬到了一个破产的州，这个今晚秀还是通用赞助的。——柯南·奥布莱恩
"Despite opposition from the public, President Obama says he's
determined to close the prison at Guantanamo Bay. To make sure
Guantanamo Bay closes, Obama said the new warden will be the CEO of
General Motors." --Conan O'Brien
尽管遭到公众的反对，奥巴马总统还是说他决定关闭关塔那摩湾的监狱。为了确保关塔那摩被关了，奥巴马说，新的监狱长将由通用的CEO来担任。——柯南·奥布莱恩
"Hey, how about General Motors? Oh, my gosh. It's crazy what's going
on. General Motors, bankrupt. Biggest corporation in the world and now
they still want money. They still want billions more bailout money. I
think I speak for all Americans when I say, 'You want more money? Wait
here while I talk to the manager. I'll be right back." --David Letterman
嘿，通用怎么样了？哦，天哪，这简直是疯了。通用，破产了，世界上最大的公司啊，现在他们还想要钱。他们还想要上亿的财政援助。我想我得替所有的美国人说句话，“你们想要更多的钱？我去跟管理层说一下，在这等着，我马上就回来。”
"Did everyone see Brian Williams' special with President Obama that was
on? Yeah? Anyway, there's this big NBC News special with Brian
Williams, and in the special, President Obama showed Brian Williams
what tricks his new puppy, Bo, could do. Isn't that cool? Yeah, in
fact, Bo has already learned to sit up and beg for federal bailout
money." --Conan O'Brien
你们有人看布莱恩·威廉姆斯和奥巴马总统的特别节目了吗？这个布莱恩·威廉姆斯的特别节目里有个大新闻，在节目里，奥巴马总统给布莱恩·威廉姆斯看他的新宠物波会做的动作，这简直太酷了，是吧，事实上，波已经学会坐正了求着要联邦财政援助了。——柯南·奥布莱恩
[英语口语学习提高推荐]
"But you know, people get upset about everything. People are already screaming. They say: 'You know what that little date that the President and his wife went on in New York City, you know what that cost people? Twenty four thousand dollars. It lasted four hours and it cost $24,000.' And former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer said, 'That's about right.'" --David Letterman
你们知道吗？人们现在什么都担心。人们都在大喊大叫。他们说，“你知道总统和他老婆去纽约小约会了一下么，你知道花了多少钱？24000美元哦。四个小时花了24000美元。”前纽约州长艾略特·史匹哲说，“我想差不多也就这样。”——大卫·莱特曼
注：这个前纽约州州长是因为招妓丑闻被迫辞职的，相关报道：纽约州长卷入性交易丑闻>>
"Hey, there's a big story out of Washington. The President went on a
date. We haven’t seen this since the Clinton Administration. But this
was different. The President went on a date with his wife." --Craig
Ferguson
嘿，华盛顿有个大新闻，总统出去约会了。克林顿政府之后我们就没见过这事了，不过这回还是不一样的，总统是跟他老婆出去约会的。——克莱格·弗格森
沪江小编：身为总统千万要捡点，不然会被人说一辈子……
"Apparently, the Obamas' date was fulfilling a promise Barack made to
Michelle. He told her once the campaign was over, he’d take her to New
York for dinner and a Broadway show. I like that, because it makes
Obama seem like any other married guy, doing stuff he doesn't want to
do because he promised the wife." --Craig Ferguson
很显然，奥巴马夫妇的约会是为了实现巴拉克对米歇尔的一个诺言。他跟她说竞选结束之后，他会带她去纽约吃顿饭看一场百老汇演出。我喜欢这一点，因为这让奥巴马看上去和其他结了婚的家伙没什么不同，都是因为答应了老婆什么事情不得不去做自己不想做的。——克莱格·弗格森
"Speaking of President Obama, a new book is coming out; hasn't been out
yet, I think. But it's coming out. And it claims that President Obama
and his wife went through a rough patch in their marriage, where their
relationship was somewhat frosty. Yeah. After hearing this, Bill
Clinton said, 'I'd kill for somewhat frosty.'" --Conan O'Brien
说到奥巴马总统，有一本新书要出了，我想现在还没出吧。不过快出来了。书里说，奥巴马总统和他妻子的婚姻经历过一段困难时期，他们的关系曾经有点冷淡。是啊，听了这个之后，比尔·克林顿说，“要是我也能‘有点冷淡’，我死了都行。”
英语四六级考前冲刺辅导活动报名中>>
页:
[1]