英语自学网 发表于 2016-7-10 11:23:34

英文短篇小说欣赏-Someone To Care For

  Someone To Care For
          Maria Goodin
          My friend Natalie can't see the point in you. She says that all you do is
burp, fart, dribble, grin inanely and emit a series if unintelligible noises.
Admittedly she hasn't seen you at your best, but I still think that's a little
harsh.
          The first time Natalie came to visit you were asleep on your back, gurgling
little spit bubbles, a thin strand of drool running down your chin. Natalie just
stared at you as if you were a creature from another planet. She made no secret
of the fact that she wasn't impressed.
          The second time she came to visit you crawled across the carpet towards her
and vomited on her expensive new shoes. I tried to make light of it, explaining
that it's mainly just liquid and wipes off easily, but she really did look quite
appalled.
          Natalie likes being a career woman, rushing between meetings in her power
suit, clutching her Starbucks Coffee and her laptop. She's never wanted a
husband or a baby, but if she could see you on a good day I'm sure she'd feel
differently. If she could see the way you clap your hands and squeal with
excitement when Scooby-Doo comes on the telly then she'd find you just as
adorable as I do.
          Instead she thinks you're smelly and have a strange shaped head. She looked
revolted when I said you like putting your toes in your mouth, and finds it
disturbing that you're always staring greedily at my breasts. It upsets her even
more when you stare greedily at her breasts. I tried to explain that you're a
man and that's what men do, but she wasn't having any of it.
       
       


       
          If I'm honest, I think you could have made a bit more of an effort when
Natalie first visited our house. I know it was the morning after Spongey's stag
do, but I thought you could have at least lugged yourself into the bedroom
instead of lying sprawled on the sofa in a curly wig, a pair of women's shoes
and a t-shirt with a photo of Spongey's bare bottom on the front. If you'd had
some trousers on it might not have been so bad. Natalie and I were comfortable
enough perched on the wooden chairs, but it was quite distracting to have you
snoring over our conversation, and I think Natalie was a bit uncomfortable when
you started mumbling and fiddling with yourself.
          
          When Natalie left, giving me a kiss on the cheek and a look of pity before
rushing off for an appointment with her personal trainer, I removed your
stilettos, covered you with a blanket and wiped the drool from your chin. Later,
when you woke up screaming about a pain in your head which you assumed must be a
brain haemorrhage, I gently explained that you had simply consumed an excessive
amount of alcohol. I then sat by your side, holding your hand and stroking your
forehead in a bid to reassure you. Three days later when you had recovered, I
firmly reiterated this link between lager and suffering and said I hoped you had
learnt your lesson. You looked ashamed, said you wouldn't do it again and then
promptly went out and got wasted.
          I'd secretly hoped that things would be better the next time Natalie came
to visit. I thought she might like you better if you had your trousers on and
were conscious. To be fair you didn't let me down on either of those counts, but
if I'm going to be picky then I wish you'd been sober and hadn't vomited on
her.
          I assumed that when I told you she was coming for dinner you would come
home from the pub before ten o'clock, but of course you bumped into Spongey down
at the Queens Head and the two of you decided to celebrate the fact that you
were wearing the same socks. I understand how important these things are to you,
and I do appreciate the fact that you phoned me from the pub six times with a
string of terrible excuses, but could you not have come for the Chicken Chasseur
I had prepared? Instead you fell through the front door three hours late,
addressed Natalie as Bob, crawled towards her on all fours and then chucked up
all over her feet. It wiped off just as I said it would, but I don't think that
made Natalie like you any better.
          Once Natalie had left - which she did at great pace - I cleared up the mess
and sat you down at the kitchen table. You clutched my fingers tightly and tried
to put one of them in your mouth, mistaking it for the digestive biscuit I
offered you. I should have been furious, but when you grinned stupidly at me,
your mouth surrounded by biscuit crumbs, my heart softened and I forgave you. At
the end of the day, however badly you behave, you're mine and I still love
you.
          
          I can understand why Nathalie thinks you're an idiot, but it's easy for her
to judge. She already has everything she ever desired. I never wanted the
impressive job title, the sports car or the big flashy house. All I ever really
wanted was to be a mother. You might not be the most sophisticated man in the
world, but you have a good heart and all the other necessary parts to help me
fulfil that dream.
          I know exactly why having a baby is so important to me: I want someone I
can take care of. I find it incredible that another flailing, helpless human
being could rely on me to look after them. Babies are so utterly incapable of
looking after themselves, so dependent on others for their wellbeing. From their
failure to control their bodily functions to their inability to use their tiny
undeveloped brains, they are so completely useless without someone to care for
them. I want to be needed like that.
          Natalie says I don't need a baby to fulfil my dream. She says I'm already
there.
          I have no idea what she means. I just don't think these career women
understand
页: [1]
查看完整版本: 英文短篇小说欣赏-Someone To Care For