【NPR新闻】让爸爸妈妈不吵架的方法(3/3)
Parents can minimize the negative impact of their arguments on their
children using a few simple techniques to calm down.
Hints:
Suzanne Phillips
OK
Kastner
http://t1.g.hjfile.cn/listen/201305/201305020120181844032.mp3Another technique to soften the blow of an argument on your children is how you respond when it's over. Psychologist Suzanne Phillips says there are things parents can say to repair the sad or hurt feelings children might have.
It's really important for them to know that Daddy and I are gonna be OK. Daddy and I love each other but sometimes we don't agree and we have to figure out how to disagree without yelling a little bit more.
Even apologize, she says. That helps kids regain a sense of security. And remember, there is a larger context, most of the time, most parents aren't fighting. And if children experience lots of good, happy times, they can help balance out the bad times. And not all arguments are equal. If you have a good, constructive argument, that can actually teach children how to handle their own disagreements.
Psychologist Kastner.
We want them to learn to be patient, show empathy, cooperate with others, learn negotiation skills and all of us will suffer disappointments, experience anger, get frustrated with others and children need to see their parents cope with these feelings constructively so that they can do the same thing.
So, instead of getting angry, yelling and name-calling, work on techniques to make an argument constructive and resolve a problem. That will be a lesson for your children and give them the resilience and the sense of confidence they need to negotiate difficulties they may face as they grow into adulthood.另外一个降低争吵对你的孩子的影响的方法是争吵结束以后你对此的回应。心理学家Suzanne Phillips说父母可以做一些事来修复孩子们可能有的受伤的感觉。
对他们来说要知道我和爸爸都会没事的这很重要。爸爸和我深爱彼此但是有时候我们没法达成一致所以我们不得不想办法如何不通过吵架来表达不同意见。
她说，即使是道歉能够帮助孩子重获安全感。记住，这里还有更大的回转余地，大多数时间大多数父母并不争吵。如果孩子们经历了很多愉快的时光，这些时光能帮助他们中和坏的时光。不是所有的争吵都是相同的。如果你有一个好的有建设性的争论，事实上可以教导孩子们去解决他们自己与他人的异议。
心理学家Kastner。
我们想要他们变得有耐心，有同情心，和他人合作，学习沟通的技巧，同时我们所有人都会有失望，经历愤怒，对别人失望并且孩子们需要看到他们的父母有建设性的解决这些情感以便他们自己也可以做相同的事情。
所以说，取代愤怒，咆哮和辱骂，使用一些技巧来使一段争论变得有建设性并且能解决一个问题。那将会给你的孩子们上有用的一课并且赋予他们弹性和自信，这些又是当他们长大成人后他们面对要磋商一些问题的时候所需要的。
By---大爱柯南
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