【TED演讲】为何家暴受害者不离开(3/8)
Leslie Morgan Steiner曾经陷入“疯狂的爱情”——即爱上了一个经常虐待她并威胁她生命的男人。Steiner描述了她的婚姻中黑暗的一面，纠正了许多人对于家庭暴力受害者的错误理解，并告诉我们如何帮助受害者打破沉默。Leslie Morgan Steiner
Leslie Morgan Steiner is a writer and outspoken advocate for survivors of domestic violence -- which includes herself.
注：视频与音频不一致，以音频为主。
【全文听写】
【HINTS】
Conor
Harvard
Ivy League
Wall Street
http://t1.g.hjfile.cn/listen/201302/201302060800518788538.mp3One of the smartest things Conor did, from the very beginning, was to create the illusion that I was the dominant partner in the relationship. He did this especially at the beginning by idolizing me. We started dating, and he loved everything about me, that I was smart, that I'd gone to Harvard, that I was passionate about helping teenage girls, and my job. He wanted to know everything about my family and my childhood and my hopes and dreams. Conor believed in me, as a writer and a woman, in a way that no one else ever had. And he also created a magical atmosphere of trust between us by confessing his secret, which was that, as a very young boy starting at age four, he had been savagely and repeatedly physically abused by his stepfather, and the abuse had gotten so bad that he had had to drop out of school in eighth grade, even though he was very smart, and he'd spent almost 20 years rebuilding his life. Which is why that Ivy League degree and the Wall Street job and his bright shiny future meant so much to him. If you had told me that this smart, funny, sensitive man who adored me would one day dictate whether or not I wore makeup, how short my skirts were, where I lived, what jobs I took, who my friends were and where I spent Christmas, I would have laughed at you, because there was not a hint of violence or control or anger in Conor at the beginning. I didn't know that the first stage in any domestic violence relationship is to seduce and charm the victim.在交往之初，Conor所做的最聪明的事之一就是创造了一个假象，让我相信自己是这段关系中较强势的一方。尤其是一开始时，他把我当偶像般崇拜。我们开始约会，他喜爱关于我的一切，例如我的聪明，我在哈佛的求学经历，我对帮助青少年女性的热情，以及我的工作。他想了解有关我的家庭、我的童年、我的愿望和我的梦想的一切细节。Conor对我信任的程度，是身为作家兼女性的我从来没有在其他人那里得到过的。通过向我诉说他的秘密，他在我们之间营造了一种神奇的互信氛围，而这个秘密就是，从他还是一个四岁的小男孩时开始，他的继父就一直野蛮地、反复地对他进行身体上的虐待。愈发变本加厉的虐待使得他不得不在八年级的时候辍学，尽管他当时十分聪明。他花了将近20年的时间重建他的生活。这也解释了为什么常青藤大学的学位、华尔街的工作以及他光明闪亮的未来对他来说意义重大。如果你们当时跟我说这位聪明、风趣、体贴且爱慕我的男士有一天会让我在我是否要化妆、我的裙子能多短、我生活在哪儿、找什么样的工作、与谁交朋友以及在哪儿过圣诞等问题上听命于他，我会嘲笑你们，因为最初时在Conor身上压根看不见一丝残暴、控制欲或易怒的迹象。当时，我并不知道引诱和迷住受害者是所有家暴关系形成的第一阶段。
——翻译 by 十平 （水平有限，仅供参考）
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