英文阅读：Rub the wrong way?
Reader question:In this sentence – He is able to get along with some people but always
seems to rub the wrong way with others – what does "rub" mean?
My comments:
"Rub the wrong way" is the phrasal verb to be examined here, "rub"
referring to the act of stroking the hair of an animal, pet or beast.
The sentence means the person in question gets along with some people but
not with others. The way he keeps rubbing the wrong way with them suggests that
he has, say, a different personality or a peculiar way of doing things that
others find irksome, irritating, annoying.
Now definitions. "Rub the wrong way" obviously comes from the practice of
petting an animal, a cat, a dog, a lion etc. Pets love being cuddled and being
stroked. When you stroke them along the way their furs are naturally lined up,
you make them purr with comfort and pleasure. However, if you stroke them the
other way around, going against the natural lie of their furs, you make them
bristle, bite, scratch and snarl whichever the case may be – you're rubbing it
the wrong way and making them uncomfortable.
It's the same way with all manners of animals, birds, beasts and humans
alike. Take donkeys for instance. In China, we have a saying in "顺毛驴子", which
refers to people who enjoy being rubbed the right way. If rubbed the wrong way,
they might, well, lift a (metaphorical) hoof on you.
Yes, it is the same with humans. We all love to be cuddled and stroked,
figuratively speaking, but not rubbed the wrong way. Let's take bosses, for
example. All bosses love fawning subordinates, which is fine and natural.
However, some sorry sycophants lack the tact to do it right. They either say
wrong things or say the right things at the wrong moments or in front of the
wrong people. Result: The poor boss bristles. In Chinese of course we have an
apt saying describing this particular situation in "马屁拍到蹄子上". To put it in
English word for word: Trying to pat the horse on the backside, you hit him on
the hooves instead – so bear with it if the boss, er, kicks back at you.
Anyways, "rub the wrong way", "rub up the wrong way", "rub someone the
wrong way" or "rub the wrong way with someone" all mean the same thing: you
irritate, annoy and offend them by tactlessly handling a situation, especially a
good situation.
Here are a few examples:
1. Rubbed the Wrong Way
She thought a massage would be soothing. Instead she ended up in pain.
Here's one woman's account of what can go wrong in a massage – and what to know
before you get one.
I'd just finished a book manuscript and wanted to reward myself. I
envisioned something luxurious—something to soothe mind and body.
I came upon a brochure featuring a $155 spa sampler at a Georgetown salon
and made an appointment. My visit was to include a 30-minute facial, a 30-minute
massage, and a manicure and pedicure. I was especially looking forward to the
massage and imagined leaving with a loosey-goosey glow that would linger for
days.
I did, in fact, experience a lingering feeling for days. The feeling was
pain.
- Washingtonian.com, March 1, 2008.
2. But big cats, particularly those as self-absorbed as (Nick) Faldo,
rarely lose their claws and the slight of 1999 is unlikely to have been
forgotten. The outcome of this year's Ryder Cup may depend as much on the
European captain's performance as that of the home team's. How many of his own
players will he rub up the wrong way by September?
- Faldo's Wild Side in Need of Taming, The Sunday Herald, January 13,
2008.
3. One final word of advice to the person who wants to take Buddhism all
the way. Once you have found a suitable tradition, group, and teacher, stay with
them. Things will not always go well, and not everything will please you or be
as you think it should be. That is inevitable for two reasons. First, because
each of us brings to Buddhist training our own set of attachments and delusions,
they are bound to 'rub the wrong way' against parts of a genuine practice.
Second, even the best teacher and group are human and they will make mistakes
from time to time. The fact that they sometimes 'mess things up' does not mean
that they are unworthy of being your teacher and fellow students: it simply
means that their personal training is ongoing. Since enlightenment is not a
finished thing but rather an ongoing process, and since even the continuous
enlightenment of the arahant does not confer omniscience or infallibility,
mistakes are going to be made. If seekers after Buddha's Way require that their
teachers or religious groups meet the ideals floating around inside their own
heads, they will never find what they are looking for.
- How to Find a Temple, Practice Group, or Teacher,
www.eugenebuddhistpriory.org.
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