英文阅读：Tough love
Reader question:In this newspaper headline – The Trouble with Tough Love – what's tough
love?
My comments:
Tough love is the harsh measures parents sometimes take in disciplining
children. For example, some parents administer beatings to a kid who comes back
from school with a poor report card. Others stand the child in the corner facing
the wall for hours as punishment...
Alright, no more bad examples. But these terrible things are done by
parents in the name of love. Parents fear that lack of discipline will spoil
their children in the long run. A lot of loving parents, hence, mete out tough
love on children and sometimes do it with a
this-is-going-to-hurt-me-more-than-it's-going-to-hurt-you attitude. In Chinese,
that translates to the age old 打是亲，骂是爱 – age old yet second-class behavior
nevertheless. As babies learn to walk, run and learn adults' ways, mistakes are
bound to be made. So children, if you ask me, could all use a little
unconditional love from ma and pa no matter what good/bad they've done.
It's just a matter of parents not knowing better, I think, but you get the
point about tough love, the term.
The term is used in other situations as well, such as in economics. For
instance, Noam Chomsky, in Propaganda and Control of the Public Mind, I think,
likens many US pro-capital policies to "tough love" – "love for the rich, tough
for everyone else".
Here are media examples:
1. Giuliani embraces tough love (November 8, 2007, Los Angeles Times):
He (Rudolph W. Giuliani) has broadened his image, vowing to keep America
safe while defending religious rights and families. His combative style appears
to be working as he leads in the GOP race.
2. Workers want tough love (news.com.au, November 23, 2007):
WOULD-BE managers are often told they should aspire to being consensual,
team-playing listeners.
But in fact it is hard taskmasters who not are afraid to crack the whip to
get the job done that are most valued by employees.
A study by the UK Institute of Leadership & Management has found that
people would rather work for a tough boss who is successful than a lenient one
who fails to deliver the goods.
3. Knicks coach Isiah Thomas tries tough love on disgruntled Stephon
Marbury (yahoo.com, November 15, 2007):
Isiah Thomas is trying tough love on Stephon Marbury.
"I love all my players, just like my mother loved me, but sometimes she
snatched me out of the park and had tough words for me and did some tough things
to me," the New York Knicks coach said after Marbury rejoined the team for
Wednesday's night game against the Los Angeles Clippers.
"I want the best for this team. I want the best for every player inside
that locker room. And sometimes there are tough lessons that need to be learned
and there are tough things that we need to do. Every player that's worn a
championship ring, there's a heavy price to be paid. That's our goal and that's
where we want to get to."
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